After our second miscarriage, I had a really hard time recovering. The first one was hard enough. Since it “never” happens, how could I even fathom it happening a second time to us? That was impossible, I thought, so I think it hit me in the gut twice as hard. I had no idea what I was supposed to think or feel, or how to get my life back.
With understanding from my incredible managers and coworkers, I was able to take some time off work after my D&C. I started looking into our lives trying to figure out reasons these miscarriages could happen, and went a little crazy getting rid of chemicals in our house, and even still make natural cleaning solutions. I started some research trying to find some spiritual guidance, and even started incorporating healing crystals into my life. I tried to lean on yoga and self care. Those things were all great and beneficial, but something was missing. I needed to be able to talk about what had happened. And I felt like I needed to talk to a neutral person, someone who could help me before my sorrow spiraled out of control.
I was lucky enough that I was able to see a counselor through a program at work. I found it very helpful, and the counselor suggested a Loss Support Group. I was very interested, and thought it may be what I needed, however the drive was over an hour. I figured there would be one closer to where I live, so I started searching. I couldn’t find anything online in my county, so I dropped the issue and never found a support group to go to.
I finally realized the importance of having a support group when I started hearing of several friends and family members who had also had miscarriages. Some spoke to me about their own loss, and wanted to know what I had done to deal with the grief of losing a pregnancy. It was clear, better support needs to be available. I began to search my area again, and couldn’t find anything. I decided I would just create my own Loss Support Group after I had Evan (I thought it may feel like a slap in the face for the leader of a loss support group to be pregnant). I have said it many times, it can just be helpful hearing somebody else who has gone through a similar circumstance as you. Isolation can happen very fast and easily after a loss, and if you have a support group to lean on, it gives you an outlet of understanding people.
I was then pointed toward my county’s Hospice Center, and found they had a Loss Support Group and decided to reach out. I have now been working with them to try to get the word out about the group that meets once a month. This is something I am passionate about, being a loss mom myself. We need to be more supportive of each other, and encourage each other to get support if needed. This being October, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I would like to encourage you to reach out for support if you need it, suggest or provide support if you know someone else who needs it. Needing support is not a sign of weakness, but a necessary thing in order to heal and grow. You deserve the support you need, and we are here for you if you need us. 💗💙