“This isn’t a real problem.” That’s what I was told, anyway. That pregnancy after a loss wasn’t a problem for women. After all, stillbirth hardly happens any more these days. Besides, even if it does, it is so rare it would never happen again. Your next pregnancy will be fine. Relax! When I was anxious or scared, I was told again to relax. Don’t make yourself sick with worry.
I call bullshit.
I was tired of being made to feel like I was the only one in the world who felt this way. What’s more, I knew I wasn’t. I knew from women online that I wasn’t the only one. I knew from talking to my doctor, who reassured me that my feelings were normal and that he has seen many women just like me.
But when I went to publish my book, I heard those same bullshit lines from publishers too. Great book, but no market for it. Not enough women go through this for the book to be financially viable. And so on…
So now I feel vindicated. I just checked my numbers and I sold 492 copies of Joy at the End of the Rainbow* in 2017. The book was released on June 24th, so that only represents six months of sales. To compare, according to Publisher’s Weekly, the average non-fiction book in the United States sells 500 copies a year.
Even more incredible, the book just was awarded a second place award in the American Journal of Nursing’s Book of the Year awards, in the Consumer Health category.
Don’t let anyone tell you that what you’re feeling isn’t normal. That other women don’t feel the way you do. Never let anyone tell you you’re alone in this. We are a powerful sisterhood, us women who have lost a child. The 500 or so women who bought my book and the thousands of people who read this blog can tell you the truth.