A big part of my grieving process has been through service to others.
When I look back at 2015, I’m proud of the work that I’ve done. I’m even more proud of the work that those close to me have done. I’ve been very fortunate to work with some amazing people, personally and professionally, who have supported me in all sorts of ways that have allowed me to continue this path I’m on.
I’ve had friends step up and help me incorporate my charity this year, and take board positions and chair committees and have never once told me (to my face, at least!) that my emails are too long or too frequent. The core team at PALS brings me to tears as I think of the thousands of hours our little group has put in- time away from our families, away from everything else, just because we want to help others. We don’t get paid. We do it because we love it.
And my family! My wonderful family, who picks up the pieces that I drop because I’m going in six different directions, always, without hesitation and without question. They are the backbone to my spastic limbs, allowing me to move freely through this life I’ve suddenly realized is the one I’m meant to be living.
It’s tough some days. I wouldn’t be racing out of work at 5pm to begin my second life with all of this if my son had been born with a heart that was beating. I love what I’m doing, though, but I’m consciously aware that the only reason I’m doing it is because of tragic circumstances that I never imagined happening when I was bouncing around wearing cute maternity clothes.
We just passed Giving Tuesday, which at this point in my life is like my Christmas. I was overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. As I learn about fundraising, I realize that not everyone gives. I am trying to come to terms with this. Not everyone grieves like I do. People do things differently, which is what makes us all unique in our grief and our life.
So, whatever it is you’re doing, make it worthwhile. Do it 100%. If you’re not doing anything, find something. Take off your shoes, put your feet in the cold water, get out of your comfort zone, and plunge in. It may be just want you need to find the life you need to live.