It hit me today that I am only six weeks away from my due date. A couple of weeks ago, eight weeks still seemed so long, but somehow only six seems super close now. I still have fears of going into labor early, even though I luckily haven’t had any signs of that so far.
I think we are ready for her and have everything we need.
Her room is ready, although she won’t even use that for a while. I have all of her clothes organized by size and I hope she likes pink because she has a lot of it! I just need to finish organizing everything in her room, find a space in the kitchen for her bottles, wash the newborn clothes, and other minor details. She was measuring 64th percentile four weeks ago at my MFM appointment and if she stays on that trend, will likely be about the same size as my son I am guessing. He always seemed to measure around that same percentile. Physically, we are pretty much ready for her arrival.
Emotionally, I know there are going to be a lot of things happen when she is born.
It will bring up both good feelings that she is finally here, but also bring up reminders of when her sister was born. I am also trying to hang on to the happy memories of my son being born. I think what kind of scares me the most is just having no idea when she will come. I mean, I know no one ever knows exactly when their baby will be born. My son was born five days early and my water broke, but I wasn’t having contractions. With our angel daughter, I had to be induced. So I have never actually felt any contractions that weren’t Pitocin induced, so part of me worries I won’t even realize I am in labor! And since it is the third labor, I am hoping it will go faster, but also not so fast that I don’t make it to the hospital.
The bad thing about being this far along in the pregnancy is pretty much everything and everyone annoys me and makes me angry right now.
I have zero tolerance for most people and little things just get under my skin. It’s frustrating to me to be that way, but I can’t help it. Sometimes the little things just make me irrationally angry!
For instance, there is a road they are doing construction on in the city I live in. It used to be two lanes going straight, but now one is a turn only lane and the other is a straight lane. So I know this and get in the correct lane ahead of time, but plenty of other people decide to just stay in the wrong lane and then cut off the people in the correct lane and it really makes me mad. It makes me mad on a normal day and even more so when pregnant. I may have yelled at a few (not that they could even hear me!).
On the other hand, I was watching a couple of episodes of a TV show today and they were all making me cry pretty easily. So I think it’s safe to say the hormones are in full effect right now, definitely feeling some crazy emotions.
On a super happy note, my wonderful co-workers threw me a surprise baby shower last Friday and got the baby so many cute things.
And had two different delicious kinds of cake (chocolate and coconut)! It was so nice to feel so loved and supported at work. I have been able to confide my fears and worries with several of my coworkers, so they know my loss history. I had hesitated when I first started there because you never know if you should bring up something like a loss, especially one that had happened fairly recently. But I am glad that I did tell people. I never got this kind of support at my prior job and this feels new to me. Working in a supportive environment where people care about you and the baby really does make all the difference.