New Territory

By |2016-10-13T17:13:51+00:00August 21st, 2015|From Dads Who Know, Uncategorized|0 Comments

This past month has been a rather emotional one for me and Kristen. We are now past two important days: the one year anniversary of William’s death and the gestational age in this current pregnancy where we lost William. Now we are almost at 25 weeks along with Noah. This means that our worries are much the same as any normal pregnancy. What if we have an accident on our way to or from the doctor? What if there is a problem with the umbilical cord? Or some other unforeseen complication? Kristen and I have a completely new set of worries to get used to, but I take some comfort in having reached some new pregnancy territory.

Other new territory this month: I have looked into what I need to do to take paternal leave. What a terrible situation that can be! At least my employer offers 40 hours of paid leave. That’s not much compared to other countries, but in the US, there is no mandatory paid paternal leave. With a cerclage, natural birth isn’t possible, so Noah will be born via caesarian. This means I will need to be able to be at home. Fortunately I have a good boss who has helped me work out a way to be at home while Kristen recovers! I am very grateful for that, and for the time I will have to bond with Noah. But what if I didn’t have such a good boss? The lack of paid paternal leave in the US is a sad
thing. I want to be there for Kristen, and I want to be a good Dad. No dad should have to worry about not being able to be there for his family.

This next month is all about hoping for normal scans at each weekly doctors visit and enjoying all the cute 3D ultrasounds of Noah’s precious little face. Grow Noah, grow!


Our Noah at 23 weeks, 5 days. I love the details you can see here! These 3D ultrasound scans are remarkable.

Our Noah at 23 weeks, 5 days. I love the details you can see here! These 3D ultrasound scans are remarkable.

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About the Author:

Darrell Paul
Darrell Paul lives in Maryland with his wife, Kristen Paul, where he works as an engineer. After struggling with infertility, Darrell and Kristen were thrilled when their first attempt at IVF succeeded in 2014 with the conception of their son, William Edward Paul. They were absolutely devastated when cervical insufficiency resulted in William's death on August 1, 2014. Since then, Darrell has struggled with the lack of resources available to grieving fathers. Darrell hopes that his perspective will help other grieving fathers. You can contact Darrell at

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