Life, Intensified

Life with an infant is so much more focused than life without.  As Nigel the guitarist said in the movie ‘Spinal Tap’, my life ‘goes to eleven’ now. Every moment with our son, Noah, is irreplaceable. Each day he’s a little bit bigger and a little more capable than the day before, so each day is different. All the money in the world can’t make Noah younger. So Kristen and I have to treasure every single moment we can with him, which can be a little difficult to remember when he’s screaming for hours on end because his stomach hurts. Noah still has some reflux issues, so there are times where he’s inconsolable. We have to remind ourselves that his happy times make the sad and screaming times worth it.

Life is more focused, but it feels more scattered, because there are now far more things competing for my attention, both at home and at work. My responsibilities at work keep increasing, which is good from a professional standpoint. I enjoy my work and I like what I do. Now I have more projects to juggle at once, requiring more mental energy. Honestly though, I find spending time with Noah and taking care of him to be refreshing. His times where he cries inconsolably can be a little trying, but I did sign up for that!

For everyone who told me, “Having children to take care of will change your priorities”: you were right. But I like the changes I see in myself. My focus is on my family, and overall I feel happier and more satisfied with life than I have before.


This little guy just keeps getting cuter and cuter!

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About the Author:

Darrell Paul
Darrell Paul lives in Maryland with his wife, Kristen Paul, where he works as an engineer. After struggling with infertility, Darrell and Kristen were thrilled when their first attempt at IVF succeeded in 2014 with the conception of their son, William Edward Paul. They were absolutely devastated when cervical insufficiency resulted in William's death on August 1, 2014. Since then, Darrell has struggled with the lack of resources available to grieving fathers. Darrell hopes that his perspective will help other grieving fathers. You can contact Darrell at

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