Janice’s Bump Day Blog, Week 36: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

By | 2016-10-13T17:07:19+00:00 October 6th, 2016|36weeks, 3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog|0 Comments
Bump Day Blog | Pregnancy After Loss Support

Bump Day Blog | Pregnancy After Loss Support

I haven’t decided whether it’s a good or bad thing that my rainbow baby is due during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

In some ways it is very fitting—after all, a rainbow baby is a reminder that you’ve experienced loss. But then there’s the guilt again that your child will always live in the shadow of your loss. Already I try to imagine how I will handle this month in the future so Bo will never feel like it overshadows her own special celebrations.

This brings in the Parenting After Loss struggles that I’m not looking forward to. The explanations of why mom is crying in her room, or why mom is always a little sad at Christmas. Deep down I feel like Bo is going to be compassionate and understanding—she came to me when I needed her desperately. But I worry that she won’t understand.

I’m trying to not worry too much about it for now. I have no idea what will happen a year from now, and I need to just concentrate on getting my rainbow here first. But it is something I think about as I figure out what tributes I’ll do this year. While I plan to do A Memorial Walk this weekend put on by our hospital, I have noticed that I’ve been more subdued this year, and maybe that’s because I’m balancing between sadness and celebration.

I’m hoping to find ways to include her in the month, and hope to see a lots of great ideas from all the loss mamas I follow. The great thing about this month is how we all come together and really help one another through our loss journey.

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About the Author:

Janice Leister
Janice Leister is the Instagram Manager for Pregnancy After Loss Support, as well as a contributor to the Bump Day Blog. She lives in South Carolina with her husband and Golden Retriever, Dug. Janice experienced the loss of her first child, a little boy named Jack, in 2015. After 32 weeks of a perfectly healthy pregnancy, her blood pressure spiked, which caused a placental abruption. Unfortunately because it happened so quickly and without any noticeable symptoms, her son passed away; she delivered a beautiful child, stillborn, on March 18th. Struggling to deal with the loss, she reached out to local support groups and women with similar experiences via social media. Eleven months after their loss, she and her husband were ecstatic to learn that they were pregnant again. She is currently pregnant with their rainbow, “Bo,” and is due in October 2016. Her subsequent pregnancy led her to PALS, where she has actively been trying to help other women by sharing her own experiences of pregnancy following a loss. You can contact her on her personal Instagram account, or at her blog, The Reluctant Aviator.

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