Dearest Mama (or Dada), Wherever You Are, You Are Not Alone

By |2018-02-12T17:30:43+00:00February 15th, 2018|Love Letters, PAL Fifth Annual Love Letters|0 Comments

Dearest Mama (or Dada), Wherever You Are in Your Journey After Loss,

One of the things many loss parents struggle with is feeling that we are alone in our journey after loss.  I know I certainly did.  And one of the things that was critical to navigating my journey was discovering that I was not alone – while our stories may be very different, there are others who have lost their precious children, and once you find them, they will be there for you (if you want them to be) in ways you never imagined.  Even though it may feel that way sometimes, or a lot of the time, or all of the time, you are not alone…

If you are freshly grieving, you are not alone.

If years have passed since your loss and sometimes your grief is so fresh and raw it feels like no time has passed at all, you are not alone.

If your loss was early in your pregnancy, or later, or after you delivered, you are not alone.

If you are trying to conceive after loss, you are not alone.

If you are pregnant after loss, you are not alone.

If you are parenting after loss, you are not alone.

If you have a rainbow and struggle with fear that something will happen to him/her, you are not alone.

If your rainbow hasn’t come yet, or you know one – or another one – never will, you are not alone.

Wherever you are in your journey, please know (and believe, because sometimes those are very different things) this: You are not alone.  If you are reading this, you have found a group of people who are also experiencing life after loss.  We are here, and we will offer whatever wisdom we have.  You are not alone.

With Love, From One Loss Parent to Another,


*Photo by Yaoqi LAI on Unsplash

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About the Author:

Kristen Paul
Kristen Paul currently lives in Southern Maryland with her husband Darrell, and their two year-old rainbow, Noah, and their two cats. After discovering that their failure to conceive was due to both female and male factors, Kristen and her husband were elated when they became pregnant in March 2014 on their very first cycle of IVF with ICSI. In June of 2014, they were thrilled to find that they were having a healthy baby boy; after a perfect anatomy scan at 20 weeks, 2 days gestation, they expected to welcome their son in early December. Just 10 days after the anatomy scan, Kristen delivered their son, William Edward Paul, at just 21 weeks, 5 days gestation due to cervical insufficiency. Kristen had a transabdominal cerclage placed in late December of 2014; in March 2015, she underwent a second fresh IVF/ICSI cycle and became pregnant again. After a difficult pregnancy, Kristen delivered their rainbow, Noah, at 35+4 weeks gestation. She and Darrell and now happily raising a toddler and working on making him a big brother. Kristen may be contacted at

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