Evan Roux – My Rainbow is Turning One

As her first birthday is just two weeks away, all I have been thinking about is Evan's birth story. I wish things had gone much smoother than it actually did, but either way this is how she became our Rainbow. My whole pregnancy, I never trusted my body, as I have said many times. I [...]

The Birth Plan: Pregnancy After Loss Style

It was 2:30 on a Monday morning, the Kennedy Expressway was empty, and I was "gently" encouraging Aaron to be safe, but drive faster. We were on our way to Northwestern's Prentice Hospital in Chicago—some 25 miles away—and my contractions were coming on more intensely, about every 5 minutes. I really didn't want to be [...]

By | 2017-11-14T10:21:51+00:00 November 14th, 2017|Birth, Rainbow Birth Stories|1 Comment

Colbie Jane’s Birth Story

Today our precious little rainbow is eight weeks old. Where has the time gone? Between Colbie’s birth, managing two kids under two, packing and moving across country, time just flew by. I will admit that it still doesn't feel real that Colbie is finally here. Life after going through a pregnancy after loss is very [...]

Eli River’s Birth Story

For quite some time, we had the 19th June scheduled for Eli's induction. It would place us at exactly 37 weeks, and felt like a safe time to plan it. Leo had died at 37 plus 1 weeks, and we understand the benefits of getting as close to term as possible for various different outcomes. [...]

By | 2017-07-14T11:01:59+00:00 July 14th, 2017|Birth, Rainbow Birth Stories|1 Comment

Honoring Our Birth Stories

Every woman’s birth stories are unique. These are the experiences we share as we sit around and talk about how our children entered the world. Sometimes these entrances followed our plan, other times not so much. Still, birth stories, whether they end in death or in life, share some common threads. 1. Love is the [...]

Branded, Marked & Tattooed

Almost immediately after I lost my first baby at 13 weeks, I wanted a tattoo as a physical reminder of my baby. After the marks of trauma had disappeared and the pain had subsided, the emotional wound remained. I felt marked forever—my heart was broken, never to return to its former shape. But on the [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:07:51+00:00 August 18th, 2016|Pregnancy, Rainbow Birth Stories, Uncategorized|4 Comments

One Year of PALS

It’s 4 a.m. and I am rocking my three-month-old daughter, who has a slight temperature and congestion. My two-year-old daughter is asleep, as is my husband and our dog. I’m the only one awake in the darkness, save the streetlights. This is how she will sleep, so I will take this watch. A year ago, [...]

Elijah’s Birth Story

After fully waking up at 2am and realizing I had been tossing and turning through painful contractions all night, I decided to go downstairs and make some tea. I turned on the television to distract myself and started timing the contractions. They were a consistent 20 minutes apart and every single one of them made [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:08:14+00:00 June 29th, 2016|3rd Trimester, Birth, Rainbow Birth Stories|0 Comments

The Healing Power of Storytelling: Expecting Sunshine Documentary

I believe in the healing power of stories. By listening to others and by being open with our own experiences, we can break down the walls of pain and isolation. We can be freed through this vulnerability. We create community by communicating, accepting and celebrating one another’s unique journeys. Through my loss and the new [...]

Loss and Life Afterwards

The journey of loss and healing can often feel like it will never end. I still remember the day my life changed forever. It started out with an unassuming prenatal appointment… My name is Alexis Marie Chute and this is my first monthly column on PALS. I thought this was the perfect opportunity for me [...]