Everything’s Okay Until It Isn’t

The appointment is over and your doctor or midwife has just told you that everything looks great.  Your baby is doing well and everything is okay.  One hand on your bump, you schedule your next appointment with a sense of relief that feels dangerously close to bliss.  You turn to leave and you are barely [...]

By | 2018-02-22T15:08:23+00:00 February 22nd, 2018|Pregnancy|0 Comments

Oh, How Far We’ve Come

When I think back to what I was like in the early days after my loss, I barely recognize that person. I have grown and changed so much in the seven-and-a-half-years since my second child, Zachary, died in my arms moments after birth. At dinner tonight, my daughter Hannah pulled out a question card from [...]

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 31: A Pre-Conception Mantra

31 Weeks I am making my body a happy and healthy place for this next baby. I started saying this mantra to myself long before our baby was even conceived. It guided me when I wasn’t sure we would be lucky enough to be here: 31 weeks pregnant with baby number three after [...]

By | 2018-02-19T21:04:59+00:00 February 19th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy, TTC|0 Comments

Pregnancy After Loss: Hope. Faith. Fear. And everything in between.

Pregnancy after loss is . . .   Beautiful. Hopeful. Terrifying. Moment-by-moment. Anxiety-provoking. A prayer with every breath.     Fear of getting too attached. Guilt for moving forward. Holding your breath for 9 months. (God, please don't let it be less.) Learning to exhale.     Going to your OB appointments, and being flooded [...]

By | 2018-02-18T15:31:55+00:00 February 18th, 2018|Pregnancy|0 Comments

Dear Mama, Trying to Control the Uncontrollable After Loss

Dear Mama, Trying to Control the Uncontrollable After Loss, I find comfort in trying to control very tiny things that might matter little to someone else. Keeping a clean home when possible. Things in just their right spot. When I get home, things need to be a certain way before I can truly relax. Not [...]

Naming a Rainbow Baby

There are bloggers just dedicated to baby names. Ever since my first pregnancy, I’ve followed a few because I find the subject of naming a child fascinating. And quite a few have written about how naming a second child (or third, or fourth…) is much harder than naming your first. Maybe because your favourite name [...]

By | 2018-02-11T21:09:12+00:00 February 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 29: ‘Me Next, Please:’ What I Lost and Try to Reclaim in a Pregnancy after Loss

When I was pregnant with my first in 2014, I took my then 11-year-old niece shopping. In a store at the mall, I saw a mom who was likely younger than me. I was 31 years old at the time. I saw her for just a moment but it was long enough to peek at [...]

By | 2018-02-06T08:43:30+00:00 February 5th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Call the midwife (week 39)

Week 39. I've been relatively calm leading up to the final stage of this pregnancy. I feel pretty good about the way I've handled my anxieties and fears. Our birth plan simply involves an ending with me and baby girl alive and healthy. How we get there really doesn't matter much to us because we [...]

By | 2018-02-04T16:45:07+00:00 February 4th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Rainbow Round-Up: Rainbow Products at Target

We all fell further in love with Target (I mean, what mama doesn't love Target?!) when they released the Cat & Jack™ Oh Hello Little Rainbow bodysuit. As soon as photos of that infant bodysuit started showing up online, so many Courageous Mamas headed right to Target to get their own. Members of the community even [...]

By | 2018-01-30T17:52:01+00:00 January 30th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, The First Year|0 Comments

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 28: The ‘Home Stretch’ Trimester

Entering the third trimester feels surreal when so much of my identity when I’m pregnant is tied to a second trimester loss. With my first rainbow I thought that once I got past my previous point of loss, 24 weeks, I would feel better. But instead I felt a little bit out of control. I [...]

By | 2018-01-29T20:57:39+00:00 January 29th, 2018|28weeks, 3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|0 Comments