How To Win The Grief Olympics: Dos and Don’ts of Comparing Grief

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash You may have heard of it: The Grief Olympics. The term comes up when people try to "one-up" each other's grief by explaining why their own personal loss is far worse. Many of us have engaged in The Grief Olympics in one way or another. It's human nature to compare [...]

By |2018-09-20T17:07:34+00:00September 20th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, TTC|0 Comments

“You Got Your Boy!” Gender and Spirit in Pregnancy After Loss

Tracy with her second rainbow, Holden Matthew My firstborn was stillborn and his name was Brayden. When the doctor had told us his gender at an ultrasound appointment just weeks earlier, my husband Matt and I looked at each other and smiled. So many hopes and dreams had filled that moment. I spoke [...]

When you Miscarry your Rainbow Baby

When you've lost a baby at any time during or after pregnancy, expecting a child again is such a hard balance of hope and fear. And sometimes, no matter how much you don't deserve it, you miscarry your rainbow baby. Here's one mom's experience when the worst happened ... and then happened again.  "I don't [...]

By |2018-09-16T21:50:10+00:00September 16th, 2018|Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Kasey’s Bump Day Blog, Week 16: Different Pregnancy, Same Fear

I keep feeling that others want my husband and I to have the “different pregnancy, different baby, different outcome” philosophy with this pregnancy. While I understand that mantra and try hold onto it, I have been here before. I truly believed that during my second pregnancy. I believed we would bring home a healthy baby [...]

By |2018-09-16T21:43:05+00:00September 16th, 2018|16weeks, 2nd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Today, I thought I was miscarrying…

Today, I thought I was miscarrying… … because I didn’t feel any morning sickness. … because I felt too sick, and really fatigued. … because I had intermittent back pain. … because I swore the gush of mucus I just felt was blood. … because I spotted. … because I’m “advanced maternal age” and fear [...]

By |2018-09-12T19:56:24+00:00September 12th, 2018|1st Trimester, Pregnancy|0 Comments

The Days that Everything Changed

I was working at a trade show in New York on September 11, 2001. Far enough away that I wasn't physically impacted by the devastation, but close enough to see the smoke coming from the Towers, the emergency response vehicles in motion, and the panic and fear in everyone around me. We left the Javits [...]

Kasey’s Bump Day Blog, Week 15: Two Years and Counting

My life is measured in school years. I was in school every year of my life from when I began preschool until I was 27 years-old. My husband is a high school teacher, and I work at a university. My life ebbs and flows based on the academic calendar. Two years ago, at the start [...]

By |2018-09-09T17:14:01+00:00September 9th, 2018|15weeks, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|2 Comments

Countering Guilt in Pregnancy (and Motherhood) After Loss

When I first meet a client who is pregnant I am prepared to hear about their discomfort, nausea, fears about labor, and worries about the baby’s development. When I meet a client who is newly pregnant after a loss, I am also prepared to hear about guilt. There is often guilt about having wanted to [...]

Handling Stress in Your Rainbow Pregnancy and Postpartum Periods

Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash Everyone knows that stress affects the body. And being a rainbow parent adds a whole new dimension to fears and worries. Stress can affect your sleep, digestion, headaches, motivation, and mental health conditions. Stress lowers your immunity and makes challenging daily situations more intense. Pregnancy and bringing your newborn home [...]

A letter to my earth humans

Because I love you more than you know and because I didn't always feel like the best mother, I want you to know... I apologize I apologize for whenever I lost my temper. I apologize if I wasn’t patient enough. I apologize for the many times you saw me cry and couldn’t understand why. I [...]

By |2018-08-21T07:14:27+00:00August 21st, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|1 Comment