Pregnancy After Loss: Hope. Faith. Fear. And everything in between.

Pregnancy after loss is . . .   Beautiful. Hopeful. Terrifying. Moment-by-moment. Anxiety-provoking. A prayer with every breath.     Fear of getting too attached. Guilt for moving forward. Holding your breath for 9 months. (God, please don't let it be less.) Learning to exhale.     Going to your OB appointments, and being flooded [...]

By | 2018-02-18T15:31:55+00:00 February 18th, 2018|Pregnancy|0 Comments

Dear Mama, Trying to Control the Uncontrollable After Loss

Dear Mama, Trying to Control the Uncontrollable After Loss, I find comfort in trying to control very tiny things that might matter little to someone else. Keeping a clean home when possible. Things in just their right spot. When I get home, things need to be a certain way before I can truly relax. Not [...]

Naming a Rainbow Baby

There are bloggers just dedicated to baby names. Ever since my first pregnancy, I’ve followed a few because I find the subject of naming a child fascinating. And quite a few have written about how naming a second child (or third, or fourth…) is much harder than naming your first. Maybe because your favourite name [...]

By | 2018-02-11T21:09:12+00:00 February 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 29: ‘Me Next, Please:’ What I Lost and Try to Reclaim in a Pregnancy after Loss

When I was pregnant with my first in 2014, I took my then 11-year-old niece shopping. In a store at the mall, I saw a mom who was likely younger than me. I was 31 years old at the time. I saw her for just a moment but it was long enough to peek at [...]

By | 2018-02-06T08:43:30+00:00 February 5th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Call the midwife (week 39)

Week 39. I've been relatively calm leading up to the final stage of this pregnancy. I feel pretty good about the way I've handled my anxieties and fears. Our birth plan simply involves an ending with me and baby girl alive and healthy. How we get there really doesn't matter much to us because we [...]

By | 2018-02-04T16:45:07+00:00 February 4th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Rainbow Round-Up: Rainbow Products at Target

We all fell further in love with Target (I mean, what mama doesn't love Target?!) when they released the Cat & Jack™ Oh Hello Little Rainbow bodysuit. As soon as photos of that infant bodysuit started showing up online, so many Courageous Mamas headed right to Target to get their own. Members of the community even [...]

By | 2018-01-30T17:52:01+00:00 January 30th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, The First Year|0 Comments

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 28: The ‘Home Stretch’ Trimester

Entering the third trimester feels surreal when so much of my identity when I’m pregnant is tied to a second trimester loss. With my first rainbow I thought that once I got past my previous point of loss, 24 weeks, I would feel better. But instead I felt a little bit out of control. I [...]

By | 2018-01-29T20:57:39+00:00 January 29th, 2018|28weeks, 3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|0 Comments

I’m Not a Regular Mom, I’m a PAL Mom

There’s a line in the movie Mean Girls that always makes me laugh. It’s spoken by the hilarious Amy Poehler and her character, in a desperate attempt to impress her daughter’s friends, says: “I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” Well, I’m not like a regular mom either. I’m a PAL mom. [...]

By | 2018-01-25T22:00:14+00:00 January 25th, 2018|Pregnancy|0 Comments

Finding Grace for Each Pregnancy after Loss Experience

Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash My daughter is turning two in a month, and recently I’ve been thinking a lot about her birth. I’m finally removed enough from the experience that I think I can actually process the details surrounding her birth. I’ve also given myself permission to have a little freak-out about how scary [...]

By | 2018-01-21T20:50:12+00:00 January 21st, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, TTC|0 Comments

Tracy’s Bump Day Blog, Week 25: Reaching 25 Weeks

I am 25 weeks pregnant with my third child. Reading this sentence alone could be unremarkable for some, but it could be loaded for those who are trying to conceive, those who have experienced pregnancy/infant/child loss, or anyone at any point in his or her own parenthood journey for any number of reasons. For me, [...]