It’s Only A Moment

I volunteer as a facilitator for a pregnancy and infant loss support group. Although hearing the stories and witnessing the raw grief is very heavy, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get something out of it too. I get to talk about my son who died, Oberon. I know how important it is [...]

By |2019-03-19T18:34:45-04:00March 19th, 2019|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

The Mental Load of a Loss Mom

The mental load of normal mothering is hard enough. But when you add in loss or infertility, the load seems endless. "Next year, he's going to plan at least one of the parties from start to finish ..." I found myself ruminating as I frantically pulled together the last minute items before guests began arriving. [...]

As a Mama Parenting after Loss, I’m Not Sure Where I Fit In

During my first pregnancy, I was surrounded by a number of women who were also pregnant for the first time, and together we navigated the uncharted territory into motherhood. I was lucky enough to have been completely naive to any potential complications, lucky enough to enjoy that pregnancy. And lucky enough to have given birth [...]

By |2019-03-04T14:35:37-04:00March 4th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|2 Comments

Why Rainbow Baby Mamas Give Us “All the Feels”

A “rainbow baby” is a baby born after the loss of a previous pregnancy, infant, or child, shining hope through the storm clouds of grief over the loss of a baby that came before them. Rainbow baby Mamas are the courageous mothers who choose the hope of having a baby over the fear of another [...]

By |2019-02-28T17:13:39-04:00February 28th, 2019|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, Reader Favorites|1 Comment

Hand-Me-Downs from Heaven: The Clothes My Baby Never Got to Wear

When I was pregnant with my first child, I quietly announced my pregnancy to my family, friends and co-workers. I also told my Kindergarten students and their parents. They were so sweet; baby gifts started trickling into the classroom with my students. The mother of one of my students gave me swaddle blankets, telling me [...]

Parenting After Loss: Talking Death With Toddlers

Our family - Abby Alger Photography "Not that part. The dying part." That's what my three-year-old son said to me when I told him how much I love Oberon, his brother who died. Of course he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but it still stings. "What happened after he was born?" "Well, he [...]

By |2019-02-19T17:26:18-04:00February 19th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

One more way infertility sucks, even when you beat it

The last of my miscarriages was years ago. So it was a surprise that many years and many kids later -- I discover just one more way infertility sucks, even when you beat it.  As I lay down to nurse my toddler to sleep, I scroll absent-mindedly though Facebook, and up an article pops. "This [...]

By |2019-02-17T19:34:58-04:00February 17th, 2019|Loss After Loss, Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

Life with Noah: Moving Past the What-Ifs

It's been another amazing month in the Paul household. Noah continues to thrive in part-time special education preschool and continues to make gains in speech, occupational, and feeding therapy. While he sometimes gets frustrated that he cannot always quickly communicate his wants and needs to us, he is the sweetest, happiest, most good-natured child I have [...]

By |2019-02-14T20:33:05-04:00February 14th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Why Do You Worry So Much?

“Why do you worry so much?” My husband stated more than asked as I frantically made my way to my nightstand where I kept an extra thermometer and plunged it under my whimpering nine-month-old baby’s arm. When I came home from work I noticed him clutching the coffee table in the living room trying to [...]

By |2019-02-12T19:42:21-04:00February 12th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Please Bring My Baby Back to Me

There’s nothing more terrifying than handing your rainbow over to a medical team for surgery. We're currently recovering with our youngest, Little E, who had a somewhat minor procedure last Thursday. It was an exact replica of a surgery his older brothers had before him, yet I found that I had to pull out my [...]

By |2019-02-12T08:02:03-04:00February 12th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|2 Comments