Moments with my Rainbow

Photo by Susana Coutinho on Unsplash Moments during Pregnancy “Please, baby, move. Let me know you’re there,” were the words I whisper to her through my third trimester belly upon waking anxiously from a deep sleep. Intuitively I knew two or three hours of slumber had passed where I was not aware of Zoe’s movements, so [...]

By |2018-11-01T15:26:13+00:00November 1st, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

How Sweet It Is: Rediscovering Halloween after Loss

There's fewer things better than going from "When will we ever..." to "We finally get to..." when it comes to life after loss. Some of these are huge, from getting matched for an adoption, to getting pregnant again, to parent a living child. Most others, however, are the small day-to-day, sometimes mundane activities that most [...]

By |2018-10-31T10:00:10+00:00October 31st, 2018|Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

Guilt while Parenting after Loss

Guilt. It can paralyze us. Or is can push us into action. Guilt can show up when we are acting in a way that doesn’t sync with our values. Or guilt can be like a parasite living in our shadows and sucking up our energy, our times, and our self-worth. Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash [...]

By |2018-10-24T20:52:25+00:00October 24th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Life With Noah: Celebrating Likely-Last Firsts

Noah started preschool - half a day, twice a week - earlier this month. We didn't take the decision to enroll him in preschool lightly; he's not even three years old, and the idea of him starting school was, quite honestly, a bit terrifying to me. Truthfully, we went back and forth as to whether [...]

By |2018-10-18T19:23:09+00:00October 18th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Why I Love to Babywear My Rainbow

Photo: Sublime Photo Art Some parents and caregivers love babywearing. Some do not. Some babies love to be worn in a wrap or a baby carrier, some strongly dislike it. But for me with my rainbows, babywearing has been incredibly meaningful and in some ways even healing. Four years ago, my mom and [...]

Not so happily ever after

Imagine being excited about something in your life. Something that you’ve already done but it’s different this time around because you have more experience and you just loved doing it the first time that you knew the second time around would be amazing! You are so excited and confident it’s going to turn out even [...]

By |2018-10-15T20:30:48+00:00October 15th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|2 Comments

The Day You Found Out

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash It was President Reagan who first recognized October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month in 1988. Five or six years later, the International Wave of Light began as a way to stretch love and awareness over the world for 24 hours. You may or may not remember these dates. [...]

By |2018-10-14T20:02:48+00:00October 14th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Path I Did Not Choose

When my baby died, everything changed. Suddenly, the path I had planned to walk was blocked. I couldn't continue down that path, no matter how much I longed to. I was jarringly set on a new path. It was bare, empty, and callous. Each rock dug into my aching feet. Over my shoulder, I could [...]

By |2018-10-11T21:09:55+00:00October 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

8 Things You Have Permission to Do as a Parenting After Loss Mom

After a rainbow baby is born, loss moms might feel obligated to parent by a certain set of standards. We may feel pressure from society and from ourselves to do things a certain way. There is a sense that we should ignore the fact that one of our babies died. It can feel like we [...]

By |2018-10-01T20:49:21+00:00October 1st, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Purple Hearts and Battle Scars

I met a nice woman recently while I was on vacation and we chatted about our lives. When I told her what I do for a living—working with people who are suffering from infertility and pregnancy loss—she told me declaratively that stillbirth doesn’t happen anymore. I corrected her and told her that grieving women and [...]