Knowing When It’s Time

When I wrote my October PALS post, we were in the thick of a fresh IVF cycle – I’d just undergone an egg retrieval procedure and we had four perfect embryos. We were looking forward to transferring one of them a few days later, and hopeful that my next PALS post would be a pregnancy [...]

By | 2017-12-14T21:25:24+00:00 December 14th, 2017|Loss After Loss, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Sibling Bond

Dexter's picture of a rainbow bridge to a sky full of heart stars I've been thinking a lot about siblings during this holiday season. My heart is full every time I watch my three living children engage in all the holiday activities: seeing Santa, Christmas tree decorating, finding Elf on the Shelf, baking [...]

By | 2017-12-14T10:42:45+00:00 December 14th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Christmas Ornaments

Before they were born, which is interesting, because they were born in September, my boys were given Christmas ornaments. Two snowmen medallions, given to me by my aunt, who I always associate with Christmas, because it was her favourite holiday. On the back, after they were born, I had inscribed their names. These are Nate [...]

By | 2017-12-10T20:29:10+00:00 December 10th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Holidays After Loss: Sorting Out Stockings (And Other Ideas)

Oberon's stocking in the middle - the first one filled Oberon, our son who died, is very present for us during the holiday season. He lived on the outside from November 24, 2014 - December 28, 2014. There's absolutely no way for our family to go through the winter holidays without constantly thinking [...]

By | 2017-12-08T12:19:21+00:00 December 7th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Magic Returns

I was reading through some of my past articles at Pregnancy After Loss Support last night to remind myself what I’ve already written about the holiday season. I thought I wanted to write about getting through the holidays while pregnant after loss or the first holiday season with our subsequent baby. But, as I read [...]

By | 2017-11-27T14:37:40+00:00 November 26th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Space Between

The space between here and there. The time between then and now. The distance between him and us. When your world feels incomplete, always. There is forever a feeling of missing. There is always a person missing. There is always, your child, missing. There is always everything that you didn’t get to experience with that [...]

By | 2017-11-22T14:51:26+00:00 November 22nd, 2017|Parenting After Loss, TTC|1 Comment

Our rainbow baby is our last, and it’s giving me all the feels.

“I’m done,” I repeated to my husband for the millionth time that week. Just months earlier, we saw our reproductive endocrinologist. We miscarried for the fourth time and wanted to follow up to see if there’s anything more they could do. They told me our next steps were trying IVF, or we could do an [...]

By | 2017-11-19T21:12:12+00:00 November 19th, 2017|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|2 Comments

Motherhood After Loss

    We lost our first baby, who we named Lavender, when I was 13 weeks pregnant. There were no obvious reasons as to why I lost my baby. I was young. I was healthy. Everything seemed to fine, until suddenly, everything wasn’t fine. I became pregnant again soon after our loss. That pregnancy was [...]

By | 2017-11-16T00:32:14+00:00 November 16th, 2017|13weeks, Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments