Loss in the rearview mirror: Does time heal all wounds?

Photo by A. L. on Unsplash I have some feelings about the adage “time heals all wounds.” When I was fresh after loss, this felt like something others said to placate me because how does the wound of losing a child ever heal? Increasingly, I’ve learned through my own experience that while time might not erase [...]

By |2018-09-23T20:07:01+00:00September 20th, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

How To Win The Grief Olympics: Dos and Don’ts of Comparing Grief

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash You may have heard of it: The Grief Olympics. The term comes up when people try to "one-up" each other's grief by explaining why their own personal loss is far worse. Many of us have engaged in The Grief Olympics in one way or another. It's human nature to compare [...]

By |2018-09-20T17:07:34+00:00September 20th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy, TTC|0 Comments

“You Got Your Boy!” Gender and Spirit in Pregnancy After Loss

Tracy with her second rainbow, Holden Matthew My firstborn was stillborn and his name was Brayden. When the doctor had told us his gender at an ultrasound appointment just weeks earlier, my husband Matt and I looked at each other and smiled. So many hopes and dreams had filled that moment. I spoke [...]

Life With Noah: The Room at the Top of the Stairs

A little over a month ago, we made the decision to move Noah from the nursery into his "big-boy" bedroom. While we are thrilled with how his new room turned out, and how much he loves it, the process of moving him stirred up so many emotions. I was exactly 21 weeks pregnant with William [...]

By |2018-09-13T20:27:29+00:00September 13th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Days that Everything Changed

I was working at a trade show in New York on September 11, 2001. Far enough away that I wasn't physically impacted by the devastation, but close enough to see the smoke coming from the Towers, the emergency response vehicles in motion, and the panic and fear in everyone around me. We left the Javits [...]

The Pressure to Enjoy Every Moment when Parenting after Loss

There seems to be mounting pressure from society to enjoy every moment of motherhood. And as a loss mom, this pressure seems to weigh more heavily on my shoulders. I know what it's like to live without the children who died within my womb, the children whose lives were so short that we didn't have [...]

By |2018-09-03T21:26:09+00:00September 3rd, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

We’re Done Having Children and My Family Is Incomplete

As a mom who has experienced loss, I have always dreaded the question, “How many children do you have?” For so long, I struggled with finding an answer that was simple and truthful. Now, after over two years of fumbling my words, I feel somewhat okay with sharing that I have two daughters knowing that [...]

By |2018-08-30T21:38:51+00:00August 30th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, TTC|0 Comments

Countering Guilt in Pregnancy (and Motherhood) After Loss

When I first meet a client who is pregnant I am prepared to hear about their discomfort, nausea, fears about labor, and worries about the baby’s development. When I meet a client who is newly pregnant after a loss, I am also prepared to hear about guilt. There is often guilt about having wanted to [...]

I’m not a neurotic mom, I’m a loss mom

Stitch helps fill out preschool paperwork Our family is taking a bit of a leap, and our daughter “Stitch” is starting preschool at two and a half. It has gotten increasingly challenging to work from home and give Stitch the attention she needs. These sorts of transitions can be challenging to the most [...]

By |2018-08-27T08:49:33+00:00August 27th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments