5 Important Things to Know About Recurrent Miscarriage

1. First and most important, miscarriage is never your fault. Never ever. There is a reason. We just may not ever figure out what it is. One miscarriage is difficult and heartbreaking. Recurrent miscarriages are confusing and devastating. The timing of a miscarriage may suggest different causes. Kristi Bothur at the blog This Side of Heaven, [...]

Not that Different

After I became pregnant with my rainbow baby, it seemed as if I was expected to brush the heartache of past pregnancies aside and assume that nothing would go wrong this time. People often remarked that this was a different pregnancy, implying that certainly there would be a different outcome. But was it really that [...]

By | 2017-10-03T08:06:13+00:00 October 3rd, 2017|Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

A Rainbow in the Darkness

My rainbow baby recently turned one and I find myself reflecting on those dark days of pregnancy. Referring to pregnancy as “dark” probably isn’t socially acceptable. After all, shouldn’t I have been grateful just to be pregnant? Especially after burying a baby less than a year earlier? I was given another chance! Society reminded me [...]

We don’t deserve it

I'm sure you've seen the pictures from Houston and other communities who have been impacted by Hurricane Harvey. In some cases, whole towns have been under water. In others, some neighborhoods on higher ground came through the storm relatively unscathed, while those in low-lying areas were submerged. Lives have been lost, sometimes for no reason [...]

By | 2017-09-01T08:25:59+00:00 September 1st, 2017|Loss After Loss, Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

When It Happens Again

It was during an early morning visit to the bathroom that I realized I had lost my first baby. I was bleeding and it was red—the 2 things that bring terror to a pregnant woman’s heart. That moment became a snapshot that was burned into my memory—holding the blood-soaked toilet paper. When I became pregnant [...]

By | 2017-08-17T07:18:31+00:00 August 17th, 2017|1st Trimester, Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|2 Comments

Choose What Defines You

In the six-and-a-half years since Zachary’s birth and death, I have grown a lot in how I respond to people. At first, the ignorant comments of others really bothered me and I stewed over them. There are so many things I remember from those early days and months: I remember when my grief for my [...]

When you are a mother

So many times I heard this phrase: "When you are a mother." It is always meant casually, sometimes even as a joke. “Sleep now, because when you are a mother….” Or “When you are a mother, you’ll see things differently.” Another phrase that should come with a warning. When do you become a mother? I [...]

By | 2017-08-14T09:28:33+00:00 August 14th, 2017|From Professionals, Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

“A Person’s A Person No Matter How Small,” Dr Seuss – My First Trimester Loss

I was six weeks along. There was not yet a gasp and smile at the sound of the heartbeat. There was not yet a tear at the first sight of the bean on the ultrasound. There was not yet a name assigned. There was no cramping. There was just blood. In the middle of the [...]

Life With Noah: Because We Do

Those who regularly read my monthly Parenting After Loss blogs know that Darrell and I have spent the last 12 weeks undergoing fertility treatment to try to grow our family; we transferred our second frozen embryo just two days before last month's post went live.  We hoped that this month would find us sharing the [...]

By | 2017-06-02T15:27:53+00:00 June 2nd, 2017|Loss After Loss, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Learning to celebrate Mother’s Day

I had a whole lot of hard Mother's Days and one good one from the time we started trying to have children until the time our rainbow baby was born. Mother's Day the first year we were trying to get pregnant was not too bad. After all, everyone knows that it may take a little [...]