I had a blighted ovum

I had a blighted ovum. What the heck is that anyway? This isn’t actually a medical term, but is used commonly to describe what happens when sperm meets egg and…nothing. A little egg sac develops, but nothing inside. I can’t say it was a baby, because it most definitely wasn’t. No heartbeat. No growth. Nothing [...]

When you Miscarry your Rainbow Baby

When you've lost a baby at any time during or after pregnancy, expecting a child again is such a hard balance of hope and fear. And sometimes, no matter how much you don't deserve it, you miscarry your rainbow baby. Here's one mom's experience when the worst happened ... and then happened again.  "I don't [...]

By |2018-09-16T21:50:10+00:00September 16th, 2018|Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Don’t Shame Us for Trying (Again)

You see those faces in the photo? That there, is pure joy. Those are the faces of relief, disbelief and excitement. They are of perseverance and resilience, stubbornness and determination. Those faces—our faces—are the reason we kept pushing through seven losses, to bring home our first child. Truth be told, there was a time we [...]

Already a mom

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash I have two living children. My daughter was born after several years of "unexplained infertility". My son was born four years later, after several years of heartbreaking losses in my first and second trimesters. I remember how confusing that Mother's Day was after he was born. My son was a [...]

Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Awareness Photo Challenge 2018

Welcome to Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Awareness Month Photo Challenge, March 2018. What is Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Month? In the world of pregnancy after loss there is a story of hope about a precious new life, and it’s the story of the rainbow baby. It is based on the understanding that the beauty of the [...]

Dear Mama Facing Another Loss

Dear Mama Facing Another Loss, You are strong. You are brave. You are resilient. You have faced the worst that life can throw at you, conquered it, and now you are facing the unimaginable yet again. Even though at time it may feel like it, you are not alone though. I have had three losses, [...]

Leaving her behind

I remember how I felt January 1st of 2010. The previous year, 2009, ranked right up there with "worst year ever." Long story short, in the space of twelve months, I had three cancer scares, three major surgeries, three minor surgeries, and lost two babies during pregnancy - Naomi at nearly 19 weeks and Kyria [...]

By |2018-01-04T21:26:31+00:00January 4th, 2018|Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Knowing When It’s Time

When I wrote my October PALS post, we were in the thick of a fresh IVF cycle – I’d just undergone an egg retrieval procedure and we had four perfect embryos. We were looking forward to transferring one of them a few days later, and hopeful that my next PALS post would be a pregnancy [...]

By |2017-12-14T21:25:24+00:00December 14th, 2017|Loss After Loss, Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

5 Important Things to Know About Recurrent Miscarriage

1. First and most important, miscarriage is never your fault. Never ever. There is a reason. We just may not ever figure out what it is. One miscarriage is difficult and heartbreaking. Recurrent miscarriages are confusing and devastating. The timing of a miscarriage may suggest different causes. Kristi Bothur at the blog This Side of Heaven, [...]

Not that Different

After I became pregnant with my rainbow baby, it seemed as if I was expected to brush the heartache of past pregnancies aside and assume that nothing would go wrong this time. People often remarked that this was a different pregnancy, implying that certainly there would be a different outcome. But was it really that [...]

By |2017-10-03T08:06:13+00:00October 3rd, 2017|Loss After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments