I had a blighted ovum

I had a blighted ovum. What the heck is that anyway? This isn’t actually a medical term, but is used commonly to describe what happens when sperm meets egg and…nothing. A little egg sac develops, but nothing inside. I can’t say it was a baby, because it most definitely wasn’t. No heartbeat. No growth. Nothing [...]

Purple Hearts and Battle Scars

I met a nice woman recently while I was on vacation and we chatted about our lives. When I told her what I do for a living—working with people who are suffering from infertility and pregnancy loss—she told me declaratively that stillbirth doesn’t happen anymore. I corrected her and told her that grieving women and [...]

Countering Guilt in Pregnancy (and Motherhood) After Loss

When I first meet a client who is pregnant I am prepared to hear about their discomfort, nausea, fears about labor, and worries about the baby’s development. When I meet a client who is newly pregnant after a loss, I am also prepared to hear about guilt. There is often guilt about having wanted to [...]

Handling Stress in Your Rainbow Pregnancy and Postpartum Periods

Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash Everyone knows that stress affects the body. And being a rainbow parent adds a whole new dimension to fears and worries. Stress can affect your sleep, digestion, headaches, motivation, and mental health conditions. Stress lowers your immunity and makes challenging daily situations more intense. Pregnancy and bringing your newborn home [...]

Death by Delivery: Know the Risks

You probably saw the headlines, and if you’re a mom pregnant after loss in the US, (or any pregnant mom really!) they probably frightened you. USA Today did an investigative reporting piece on why the maternal mortality rate in the US is so high. The disturbing news is that approximately 700 women in the United [...]

The Grieving Body: A Body Without a Baby

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash After a miscarriage or stillbirth the body grieves. There is the emotional and spiritual pain of loss as well as living in a no-longer pregnant body. Depending on the length of the pregnancy the reflection in the mirror may appear suspended between being pregnant and not being pregnant. Caring for [...]

Postpartum Nesting

Photo by Echo Grid on Unsplash When people hear that newborns sleep between 16-18 hours a day, there is a common misconception that this occurs all at once, or in longer chunks than the realistic 2-3 hours (maybe once a day a stretch of 4 hours, if you’re lucky!). There is the idea that postpartum is [...]

When Your Partner Can’t Support You during Pregnancy after Loss

Do you have a partner yet feel alone in your pregnancy after loss journey? I have met so many wonderful, caring partners. There are men and women who attend my support group alongside loss mamas, and it’s clear by their presence that they want to support their partners in a very real way. And, yet, [...]

By |2018-06-26T07:41:03+00:00June 26th, 2018|From Professionals, Pregnancy|0 Comments

8 Ways to Remember the Loss on Anniversaries

Photo by Francois Pistorius on Unsplash Losing a baby is never easy. However, remembering the baby can be just as intense. It is not uncommon for families to struggle to find ways to honor their little one’s memory on their annual anniversary. Here are a list of suggestions that appear to have worked [...]

By |2018-05-23T22:00:05+00:00May 23rd, 2018|From Professionals|0 Comments

“Is This Your First Pregnancy” and Other Difficult Questions in Pregnancy after Loss

In my support group for women who have terminated pregnancies for a medical reason (TFMR) we often talk about managing triggers, which include difficult questions from others. In a new pregnancy after loss, there are landmines everywhere. It would be impossible to avoid all of them unless you never left your house, but even then [...]