Recently, I was listening to Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle. This woman has been through a heck of a lot, mostly self-inflicted, but I will give her a lot of credit for having the courage to heal through the haze and pain of her own life. I was listening to the book and I almost [...]
Giving birth has nothing to do with pushing. It is not about the pain. I️t is not about the contractions. It is not about the birth location or the birth team. Giving birth is about GIVING. In pregnancy the mother GIVES. She does whatever is necessary to keep her baby healthy. In birth, she does [...]
You made it! You delivered a healthy baby that is living and breathing in your arms after a previous loss. You never thought you would get here as the road was long (or at least felt that way). With this tangible joy that you hold, you take a breath and are grateful that finally, your [...]
It should probably come as no surprise that women in pregnancy after loss (PAL) have higher rates of anxiety and depression during their pregnancy than women who’ve never been pregnant before or women who have never had pregnancy loss. There’s been plenty of research that about 20-25% of women in PAL have anxiety, and another [...]
As a mother who has experienced miscarriage, my empathy towards new mothers is different than that of someone without children of their own, or who has never had a loss. My nursing practice isn't necessarily better, but I tend to notice different elements of my postpartum patient than other nurses. I sometimes understand why the [...]
When my clients become pregnant again after a pregnancy loss, they often express some degree of dissatisfaction with their weight. They tell me that they never got back to their “starting weight,” the number on the scale at the beginning of the first pregnancy. They express disappointment about this and fear about the weight they [...]
Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash The place in time for when a pregnancy after loss occurs differs for each of us. For some, the loss occurred as part of the first pregnancy experience. Others might have had several children before experiencing loss. There can seem to be a lopsidedness in sharing the stories of loss [...]
“This isn’t a real problem.” That's what I was told, anyway. That pregnancy after a loss wasn't a problem for women. After all, stillbirth hardly happens any more these days. Besides, even if it does, it is so rare it would never happen again. Your next pregnancy will be fine. Relax! When I was anxious [...]
Grief leaches the color from daily life. Grief is monochromatic. A Seattle-gray day. The sameness can feel endless. Wake up, be smacked by the reality of your grief, crawl through the day, go to sleep, start over. Same ol’, same ol’. You are missing your baby. Yes. Yes, you are. And you will tomorrow, too. [...]
*Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash My clients often ask me, “What should I do? Do you have any strategies you can share for how to cope with my grief?” The answer is complicated. For me, this question is deeper than it appears. The grieving client is asking, ”How can I feel less bad?” Or, more [...]
