When Breastfeeding Sucks: D-MER After Loss

The breastfeeding relationship can be one of great significance to the mother. When there has been a pregnancy or neonatal loss, breastfeeding one’s subsequent child can take on even more meaning. But when the mother encounters difficulties, expected or unexpected, there is a potential for psychological consequences, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and a subjective [...]

5 Important Things to Know About Recurrent Miscarriage

1. First and most important, miscarriage is never your fault. Never ever. There is a reason. We just may not ever figure out what it is. One miscarriage is difficult and heartbreaking. Recurrent miscarriages are confusing and devastating. The timing of a miscarriage may suggest different causes. Kristi Bothur at the blog This Side of Heaven, [...]

Rainbow Clinics are a Thing and They’re Going to Change your Pregnancy After Loss Care

When I was pregnant again after loss, I wanted everyone at my OB’s office to know that I had lost a baby.  I wanted the receptionist to know, the lab technician, the sonographer, the nurses, doctors – anyone with whom I would interact needed to know that I was anxious and scared because of my [...]

By | 2017-10-12T14:01:41+00:00 October 11th, 2017|For Professionals, From Professionals, Pregnancy, TFMR|1 Comment

Don’t Sleep on your Back: a report from ISA Cork

Amulets for Nate and Sam The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA) Conference was going to be on September 23-24th. I saw that as a sign. This was going to fall on Nate and Sam’s 10th birthday. I had been to the previous ISA conference, in Vancouver in 2015. It was so well organized and [...]

Pregnancy After Loss–The Dread of The Occasional Encounter

There are people in our lives we only see intermittently. We see the dentist once or twice per year. We see our hairstylist every two to three months (or longer if you are growing it out.) We see certain out of town colleagues only at the big meeting in April. And we see our third [...]

My book is here! Joy at the End of the Rainbow

I’m a librarian, so maybe it’s natural that when I became pregnant again after a loss, the first thing I did was look for a book. I had my copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting that my husband had given me when I was first pregnant. But as I looked through it for [...]

By | 2017-07-10T11:59:39+00:00 July 10th, 2017|For Professionals, From Professionals|0 Comments

Why We Name Our Babies with Tender Care

“A good name is more desirable than great riches and loving favor is better than silver and gold."   World English Bible Proverbs 22:1 I once met a woman named Glorious.  Her name was absolutely perfect for her—open, joyful, warm and, frankly, glorious is every way.  She told me that her name had led her [...]

Addressing the Diversity of Experiences in Working with PAL Clients

In working with women who are pregnant again after loss (and their partners), I have realized my task is both simple and complex. While I seek to help clients by normalizing their experience of loss, I also must attend to individual experiences of grief, anger, and fear, as well as moments of joy, relief, and [...]

Staying Strong Together–Navigating Grief as a Couple

When a pregnancy loss occurs and there are two partners, there will inevitably be two individual experiences and two different grief processes. Also, there is a third grief process, the couples’ joint grief. It can be a challenge to navigate pregnancy loss as a couple and as the therapist working with grieving couples. While there [...]

Revisiting My Loss with my Rainbow

Much of what I write about has to do with getting through a pregnancy after a loss. Whenever any member of our community brings a healthy baby home we celebrate. But the PAL journey doesn’t end there.   Pregnancy after loss then becomes parenting after loss. I have heard from many of my clients that the [...]