What to Say to the Mom Pregnant after Loss: The Ifs, Ands, Or Buts

When someone we love suffers a tragedy, we want to help. Yet many of us - my pre-loss self included - fumble with exactly how to help. And more specifically, what to say. It's easy to dissect our words after we say them. Countless times I've rolled my eyes at myself wishing I'd said something [...]

By |2019-01-15T20:29:40-04:00January 15th, 2019|For Friends & Family|0 Comments

6 Ways Family and Friends can Support the Mom Pregnant Again After Loss

After my first pregnancy ended in the stillbirth of my daughter the last thing I wanted to do was think about having another child. I was broken and defeated. I had felt like my body had failed me and that I had failed my daughter, but I more than anything that I wanted to be [...]

By |2018-12-11T18:12:37-04:00December 11th, 2018|For Friends & Family, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Supporting a bereaved parent during the Holidays (and every day)

Supporting someone who is bereaved can be incredibly challenging—a different kind of challenging from managing the grief. Most people feel ill-equiped to be around someone else that is grieving. It makes them feel awkward and helpless (two feelings that human beings don’t do particularly well with). Automatically, their nurturing instinct kicks in with the drive [...]

Toxic Loss

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the role of gender in our society. In some cultures, gender is constructed as far more fluid than it is in the mainstream United States, where it tends to be seen as existing as a binary (either male or female). This blog has explored the meaning of gender [...]

What We’re Really Saying about Pregnancy after Loss

Congratulations. Your co-worker, friend, or loved one are pregnant after their loss. You were (hopefully) there to support them when they experienced the heartbreak of their loss and now you're thrilled to be there for them in this subsequent pregnancy. There are a million questions that you want to ask them. You want to talk [...]

By |2019-04-13T14:04:53-04:00July 26th, 2018|For Friends & Family, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Don’t Shame Us for Trying (Again)

You see those faces in the photo? That there, is pure joy. Those are the faces of relief, disbelief and excitement. They are of perseverance and resilience, stubbornness and determination. Those faces—our faces—are the reason we kept pushing through seven losses, to bring home our first child. Truth be told, there was a time we [...]

A Meaningful Gift for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a trigger for bereaved Moms. I experience this every year, even seven years after my son Zachary died. I’m grateful for International Bereaved Mother’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate my bond with my child I carry in my heart. Still, the month of May can be hard. This is why I [...]

The Invisible Mental Workload of a Mother Pregnant After Loss

Recently articles about “the invisible workload of motherhood” have been circulating around social media. Sure enough, if you ask any mother about this mental load, they know exactly what you’re talking about. The mental lists they keep to manage their kids’ lives and their households. The tasks they juggle and complete without much recognition. This [...]

The Body in Pregnancy After Loss: The Additional Weight of Grief

When my clients become pregnant again after a pregnancy loss, they often express some degree of dissatisfaction with their weight. They tell me that they never got back to their “starting weight,” the number on the scale at the beginning of the first pregnancy. They express disappointment about this and fear about the weight they [...]

Supporting a friend or family through loss

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash There is nothing like a loss to remind us all that life is fragile. Loss can also be especially uncomfortable for the friends and family, who are at a loss themselves. It seems incomprehensible how to figure out what to not say or how to avoid doing the wrong thing. [...]

By |2018-01-24T21:51:45-04:00January 24th, 2018|For Friends & Family|0 Comments