Managing Classes during Pregnancy After Loss

For many women, becoming pregnant means being included in this special “club”—the “mom club” full of insiders that share their wisdom and tips for motherhood. Part of joining this club means partaking in initiation kinds of activities like pre-natal yoga or birthing class. Once your child is born, you are “allowed” into the full versions [...]

Create a Legacy Project for your Baby

A “legacy project,” as I call it, is a great way to remember your baby that died and a special way to make him or her a part of your family moving forward. A “legacy” is something which is passed down, something given from one generation to another. Though our children’s deaths are natural order [...]

Addressing the Diversity of Experiences in Working with PAL Clients

In working with women who are pregnant again after loss (and their partners), I have realized my task is both simple and complex. While I seek to help clients by normalizing their experience of loss, I also must attend to individual experiences of grief, anger, and fear, as well as moments of joy, relief, and [...]

It Can’t Be Perfect

A few days before my son, Patrick’s, first birthday, I sat in my office chair talking on the phone with a fellow loss mom and friend. I had become paralyzed with indecision. I didn’t know if I should make him a birthday crown, a tradition I’d hoped to start for each of my children. Was [...]

By | 2017-02-26T21:08:14+00:00 February 27th, 2017|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss, The First Year|0 Comments

The heartbeat

My biggest fear when I was pregnant after three losses was, of course, losing this baby, too. In fact, the scariest moment of every prenatal appointment was at the very beginning when the doctor used a portable ultrasound machine or a Doppler to check for my baby's heartbeat. Only after we determined that my baby [...]

By | 2017-02-03T08:19:40+00:00 February 3rd, 2017|Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Saying the Words Out Loud

Telling Jess about the one who came before him with this remembrance necklace "Planted on Earth to Bloom in Heaven" February 1st marks exactly three years since my miscarriage. Three long years since my body betrayed me, extinguishing the life it was supposed to nurture - and with it, all my hopes and [...]

Goodbye, Charlotte

When I was pregnant with my rainbow, there was this fear that lingered deep in my mind, combined with a peace that sat strong within my soul. This pregnancy was different. Or was it? Was it my desperate need to believe that I would actually hold a living child within my arms that made me [...]

Dear New Year

Dear New Year, Everyone is calling you happy. Everyone else is rejoicing in the fresh start, new beginning and adventures you are bringing them, but I am meeting you broken. I lost my baby a few weeks before you appeared, and to me, you are not happy or fresh or new. Time no longer applies [...]

By | 2017-01-19T07:26:12+00:00 January 19th, 2017|1st Trimester, 2nd Trimester, Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

I Still Need Your Support

Dear friend, You.  Yes, you. Don't be afraid to talk about my children - all of them.  Every time you say my son's name confirms that he was here, he existed.  As his mother, he is a constant presence in my mind.  Sometimes it all feels like a dream, especially as time increases the distance [...]

By | 2017-01-13T11:23:38+00:00 January 13th, 2017|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|2 Comments

The Importance of Family in Pregnancy After Loss

When we got the call that we were matched for a possible adoption two weeks after we lost Sarah and Benjamin, we told no one. Six weeks later, that match fell through, and our decision was validated. We held in the news that we were chosen by our son's birthparents until about a week before his [...]

By | 2017-01-10T12:56:13+00:00 January 10th, 2017|Adoption, Emotional Health, Pregnancy|11 Comments