I’m Cringing At Your Pregnancy Announcement, Here Is Why

It never happens, until it does. It happened to me, it can happen to you. It happened to three of my cousins, two of my friends, and so many more that I meet as time goes on. It happens to 1 in 4. Pregnancy loss is more prevalent than you think, and I feel like [...]

The Boy Who is the Same Age

Photo credit: Sublime Photo Art My best friend’s sister was due with her first child, a boy, in October 2014. I was due with my first child, also a boy, in September 2014. After my son was stillborn at 24 weeks gestation in May, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t [...]

Maintaining Intimacy While on Pelvic Rest

“How are you ladies and your men dealing with pelvic rest?” “How does everyone cope with this pelvic rest thing?” “How do you maintain intimacy with your partner while you can’t actually be physically intimate?” I co-admin of a Facebook group for women (nearly 8,200 of them) with the condition that led to the loss [...]

By |2018-06-14T16:24:42+00:00June 14th, 2018|Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Pregnant and Pessimistic

During my pregnancy after loss, I seemed to be surrounded by people who had the “glass-half-full” mentality. They still believed that pregnancy guaranteed a living baby and they felt optimistic that nothing would go wrong. These people didn't waste any time congratulating me on what they were certain would be a problem-free pregnancy. They were [...]

The story behind the numbers

There is a piece of paper held on my refrigerator with a magnet. It has been there for nearly 7 years, and every time I go through the jungle of children's artwork, prayer reminders, and Christmas photos that have found their way there, it survives. It tells a story, and it reminds me of three [...]

By |2018-05-31T20:40:35+00:00May 31st, 2018|1st Trimester, Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

When Grief Comes Roaring Back In…

Nearly four years into my journey as a bereaved mother, I understand that there is an ebb and flow to my grief; some days are more difficult, some days are easier.  I also understand that the stages of grief are not nearly as linear as many believe them to be, and moving backwards and forwards [...]

By |2018-05-17T21:30:10+00:00May 17th, 2018|Emotional Health|0 Comments

A Meaningful Gift for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a trigger for bereaved Moms. I experience this every year, even seven years after my son Zachary died. I’m grateful for International Bereaved Mother’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate my bond with my child I carry in my heart. Still, the month of May can be hard. This is why I [...]

Wandering Through Sex After Loss

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash It starts off fun, mysterious. You don't know what to expect. It is everything you thought it would be. It is nothing you thought it would be. As I make the journey through motherhood, loss, and recovery, it changes, transitions as I seem to be. Sex. After our loss, sex [...]

“Is This Your First Pregnancy” and Other Difficult Questions in Pregnancy after Loss

In my support group for women who have terminated pregnancies for a medical reason (TFMR) we often talk about managing triggers, which include difficult questions from others. In a new pregnancy after loss, there are landmines everywhere. It would be impossible to avoid all of them unless you never left your house, but even then [...]

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 34: Birth Plan

Giving birth is going to be rough. The anticipation of labor and delivery is already difficult. For us, birth is our point of loss. Concern while the baby was crowning, a quick episiotomy, and an unexpectedly silent baby on my chest were the first moments we knew something was wrong. Facing the end of birth [...]