Loss in the rearview mirror: Does time heal all wounds?

Photo by A. L. on Unsplash I have some feelings about the adage “time heals all wounds.” When I was fresh after loss, this felt like something others said to placate me because how does the wound of losing a child ever heal? Increasingly, I’ve learned through my own experience that while time might not erase [...]

By |2018-09-23T20:07:01+00:00September 20th, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

How remembering your baby helps you bond with the next one

For too many women pregnant after a loss, there’s suddenly all this pressure to focus on the baby you have in your womb while ignoring or forgetting the one who came before. We have all known people who say: “You must be so happy you can put the past behind you!” or “So glad to [...]

By |2018-09-18T20:58:00+00:00September 18th, 2018|Emotional Health|0 Comments

Countering Guilt in Pregnancy (and Motherhood) After Loss

When I first meet a client who is pregnant I am prepared to hear about their discomfort, nausea, fears about labor, and worries about the baby’s development. When I meet a client who is newly pregnant after a loss, I am also prepared to hear about guilt. There is often guilt about having wanted to [...]

A letter to my earth humans

Because I love you more than you know and because I didn't always feel like the best mother, I want you to know... I apologize I apologize for whenever I lost my temper. I apologize if I wasn’t patient enough. I apologize for the many times you saw me cry and couldn’t understand why. I [...]

By |2018-08-21T07:14:27+00:00August 21st, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|1 Comment

Pregnancy After Loss, a Chapter of My Life

I have read about people looking back on their lives, noticing in the bigger scheme that their life is composed of many chapters. Some chapters are clearly defined, some overlap, some are longer, some are shorter. In looking back or even focusing on the present, you can see the effect they had or are having [...]

By |2018-08-15T21:38:59+00:00August 15th, 2018|Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Postpartum Nesting

Photo by Echo Grid on Unsplash When people hear that newborns sleep between 16-18 hours a day, there is a common misconception that this occurs all at once, or in longer chunks than the realistic 2-3 hours (maybe once a day a stretch of 4 hours, if you’re lucky!). There is the idea that postpartum is [...]

I’m Cringing At Your Pregnancy Announcement, Here Is Why

It never happens, until it does. It happened to me, it can happen to you. It happened to three of my cousins, two of my friends, and so many more that I meet as time goes on. It happens to 1 in 4. Pregnancy loss is more prevalent than you think, and I feel like [...]

The Boy Who is the Same Age

Photo credit: Sublime Photo Art My best friend’s sister was due with her first child, a boy, in October 2014. I was due with my first child, also a boy, in September 2014. After my son was stillborn at 24 weeks gestation in May, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t [...]

Maintaining Intimacy While on Pelvic Rest

“How are you ladies and your men dealing with pelvic rest?” “How does everyone cope with this pelvic rest thing?” “How do you maintain intimacy with your partner while you can’t actually be physically intimate?” I co-admin of a Facebook group for women (nearly 8,200 of them) with the condition that led to the loss [...]

By |2018-06-14T16:24:42+00:00June 14th, 2018|Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Pregnant and Pessimistic

During my pregnancy after loss, I seemed to be surrounded by people who had the “glass-half-full” mentality. They still believed that pregnancy guaranteed a living baby and they felt optimistic that nothing would go wrong. These people didn't waste any time congratulating me on what they were certain would be a problem-free pregnancy. They were [...]