The Chosen Ones: Getting The Call

"They chose you." It was the call we'd been waiting for, and one we were terrified by. After all, we had received a call like this once before, only to end in the disappointment of a failed match. So this time, we were excited and hopeful, but cautious because we didn't want to get hurt [...]

By | 2017-03-14T11:50:23+00:00 March 14th, 2017|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|2 Comments

Give InKind: A Crowd-caring Site by Loss Parents, For Loss Parents

A guest post by Tara Shafer After my son was stillborn, I remember a sea of flowers. I remember my mailbox full of cards. This support meant such a great deal to me. But I, like others, felt alone. Looking back, the isolation I felt was something similar to the [...]

The Importance of Family in Pregnancy After Loss

When we got the call that we were matched for a possible adoption two weeks after we lost Sarah and Benjamin, we told no one. Six weeks later, that match fell through, and our decision was validated. We held in the news that we were chosen by our son's birthparents until about a week before his [...]

By | 2017-01-10T12:56:13+00:00 January 10th, 2017|Adoption, Emotional Health, Pregnancy|11 Comments

What Makes a Family?

"Oh, they're brothers. So they were adopted together?" This was the question Aaron and I were recently asked during a school-related meeting for our older son. It is fascinating to me (and often times enraging), that people think this way. We have two living sons. Of course they are brothers. Yes, one came to us through [...]

By | 2016-12-13T10:20:17+00:00 December 13th, 2016|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|3 Comments

The Joy and Wonder of Parenting after Pregnancy Loss

One loss became two, became three, became four, became five, became seven. The calendar turned from 2008 to 2009 to 2010 to 2011 to 2012 to 2013. 5 miscarriages. 2 stillbirths. 1 failed adoption match. 5 years. At several points along the way, the doubt of ever being able to parent swept over Aaron and [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:07:35+00:00 September 13th, 2016|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

Finding Perspective: The Adoption Home Study

"Anyone" can have a baby, but we have to fill out fire escape route forms. When we decided to move forward with the adoption process, one of the first things we had to do was to complete a home study. We had visions of someone coming over with white gloves and a magnifying glass inspecting [...]