The Days that Everything Changed

I was working at a trade show in New York on September 11, 2001. Far enough away that I wasn't physically impacted by the devastation, but close enough to see the smoke coming from the Towers, the emergency response vehicles in motion, and the panic and fear in everyone around me. We left the Javits [...]

Adoption is not a Lifetime Movie

I'm an open book when it comes to sharing the story of our losses. I'm always willing to talk about how we adopted and then went on to successfully carry two pregnancies to term. Sharing these stories are my way of still continuing to process what has happened, and honoring our children who aren't with [...]

By |2018-08-23T21:13:31+00:00August 23rd, 2018|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

To My Husband on Father’s Day

To My Husband on Father's Day, Hey you. Remember me? Remember us? Over the years, we've experienced pretty much everything together, from the trying and losses, through grief and sadness, to joy and relief, and back again. There were days we didn't think we'd make it. Days we thought we'd never have living children. And [...]

By |2018-06-12T07:35:13+00:00June 12th, 2018|Adoption, For Dads|1 Comment

Trying to conceive after loss: Your top 10 list of what you must know

After my first loss, my thoughts constantly fell on one of two things: mourning the baby we just lost and dreaming of trying again. As much as I deeply ached to still be pregnant with the child we already conceived, the emptiness in my womb now felt unbearable. I was ready to start trying to [...]

By |2018-03-18T20:17:25+00:00March 18th, 2018|1st Trimester, Adoption, Emotional Health, Pregnancy, TTC|1 Comment

The Sharing of Rainbows

When we brought our son, C home, we weren’t sure he was going to stay. You see, we were adopting, and in Illinois paperwork cannot be signed by a birth mother until at least 72 hours after birth. We spent our time in the hospital bonding with him like any new parents: snuggling, telling him our [...]

By |2018-02-13T07:12:42+00:00February 13th, 2018|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|3 Comments

B’sha’ah Tovah: All in Good Time

I used to be a pretty superstitious person. And then all of sudden, I wasn't. Well that's not entirely true, I may still have some leftover quirks, but after we lost Baby Krueger, I realized that I just can't be that person any more. While I've never been a gambler, playing the odds when it [...]

By |2017-07-11T08:19:55+00:00July 11th, 2017|28weeks, Adoption, Pregnancy|0 Comments

The Chosen Ones: Getting The Call

"They chose you." It was the call we'd been waiting for, and one we were terrified by. After all, we had received a call like this once before, only to end in the disappointment of a failed match. So this time, we were excited and hopeful, but cautious because we didn't want to get hurt [...]

By |2017-03-14T11:50:23+00:00March 14th, 2017|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|2 Comments

Give InKind: A Crowd-caring Site by Loss Parents, For Loss Parents

A guest post by Tara Shafer After my son was stillborn, I remember a sea of flowers. I remember my mailbox full of cards. This support meant such a great deal to me. But I, like others, felt alone. Looking back, the isolation I felt was something similar to the [...]

The Importance of Family in Pregnancy After Loss

When we got the call that we were matched for a possible adoption two weeks after we lost Sarah and Benjamin, we told no one. Six weeks later, that match fell through, and our decision was validated. We held in the news that we were chosen by our son's birthparents until about a week before his [...]

By |2017-01-10T12:56:13+00:00January 10th, 2017|Adoption, Emotional Health, Pregnancy|11 Comments

What Makes a Family?

"Oh, they're brothers. So they were adopted together?" This was the question Aaron and I were recently asked during a school-related meeting for our older son. It is fascinating to me (and often times enraging), that people think this way. We have two living sons. Of course they are brothers. Yes, one came to us through [...]

By |2016-12-13T10:20:17+00:00December 13th, 2016|Adoption, Parenting After Loss|3 Comments