Tracy McLaughlin Jaskot

About Tracy McLaughlin Jaskot

Tracy McLaughlin Jaskot is an elementary educator in Massachusetts and mom to three children - her angel son Brayden, her rainbow daughter Ainsley Hope, and her second rainbow due in April 2018. She and her husband, Matt, lost their first son Brayden at 24 weeks gestation in May 2014 due to undiagnosed severe pre-eclampsia which led to a complete concealed placental abruption. Tracy has learned and grown from his stillbirth in more ways than she could have ever imagined. The PALS community has been vital in her subsequent pregnancies, shifting her experience from understandable anxiety to embracing pregnancy with hope.

When My Rainbow Baby Turns One Year Old

A fog lifts when my rainbows turn one year old. The first time it happened, I thought it might be a coincidence of timing. But the second time, it happened again. My first rainbow was conceived four months after my first son was stillborn. My pregnancy with her felt mostly dark and overwhelmed in anxiety [...]

A Letter to Myself, the Day Before Loss and Rainbows

Dear Tracy, It’s me, yourself, five years from now. Strange, right? I’m writing to you because I know something that you need to know. Knowing shortly before it happens will not lessen your pain, but my goal is to help, because I know that you like to have ALL of the information on any given [...]

Hand-Me-Downs from Heaven: The Clothes My Baby Never Got to Wear

When I was pregnant with my first child, I quietly announced my pregnancy to my family, friends and co-workers. I also told my Kindergarten students and their parents. They were so sweet; baby gifts started trickling into the classroom with my students. The mother of one of my students gave me swaddle blankets, telling me [...]

Fighting the Urge to Overprotect My Rainbow

My friend recently shared a photo of six girls with their arms around each other’s shoulders. Third from the right: me. We went to Kindergarten together, some of us pre-school as well, and we were six years old. We looked so happy in this picture. Photo: Sublime Photo Art Fast forward to now: [...]

By |2019-01-16T21:34:34-04:00January 16th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

My Fourth Christmas Without You

Dear little one, There is something I see in myself ever since you died. In pictures, in the mirror, in my eyes. It’s a tiredness that hasn’t gone away. It could be due to age or brought on by the pregnancies, births and parenting of your younger sister and brother, now three and a half [...]

By |2018-12-19T20:57:21-04:00December 19th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Why I Love to Babywear My Rainbow

Photo: Sublime Photo Art Some parents and caregivers love babywearing. Some do not. Some babies love to be worn in a wrap or a baby carrier, some strongly dislike it. But for me with my rainbows, babywearing has been incredibly meaningful and in some ways even healing. Four years ago, my mom and [...]

“You Got Your Boy!” Gender and Spirit in Pregnancy After Loss

Tracy with her second rainbow, Holden Matthew My firstborn was stillborn and his name was Brayden. When the doctor had told us his gender at an ultrasound appointment just weeks earlier, my husband Matt and I looked at each other and smiled. So many hopes and dreams had filled that moment. I spoke [...]

Pregnancy After Loss, a Chapter of My Life

I have read about people looking back on their lives, noticing in the bigger scheme that their life is composed of many chapters. Some chapters are clearly defined, some overlap, some are longer, some are shorter. In looking back or even focusing on the present, you can see the effect they had or are having [...]

By |2018-08-15T21:38:59-04:00August 15th, 2018|Emotional Health, Pregnancy|0 Comments

A Leap of Faith After Pregnancy Loss: When Your Health Was in Danger

Mothers and babies during pregnancy are intertwined in a beautiful, intricate way. The flipside is that when something is going wrong with mom or baby, the other can be greatly affected. I was not considered high-risk during my first pregnancy. I was 30 years old and healthy, running six half-marathons in the previous two years. [...]

By |2018-07-18T20:11:11-04:00July 18th, 2018|Physical Health, Pregnancy|1 Comment