Rebecca Markert

About Rebecca Markert

Rebecca Markert lives in Verona, Wisconsin, with her husband, Mike, and their three living children, Dexter, Audrey, and Owen. She gave birth to her first child, Lily, on Mother's Day 2010 after she went into preterm labor at 20 weeks. Rebecca had a septate uterus, which put her at risk for preterm labor and an incompetent cervix, among other things. Lily was a beautiful baby girl with her daddy's nose and her mommy's feet. She was stillborn. She was proof that love at first sight does exist. After another high risk pregnancy, Rebecca welcomed her rainbow, Dexter, in 2011. During her second pregnancy after loss, Rebecca realized how anxious and fearful she still was and sought out other women expecting again after loss. She, along with four other courageous mamas, formed the Rainbow Pregnancies of Madison group, which supports women pregnant after loss. Rebecca is still the facilitator of that group, which meets monthly and has an active, private Facebook page.

“In This Moment, Everything is Okay” and other Helpful Pregnancy After Loss Affirmations

When you’re pregnant again after loss (PAL), it’s so easy to get inside your head. You’ve been introduced to the “baby loss world” and you have suddenly become aware of the many ways a baby can die during pregnancy. It’s so easy to go to a bad place very quickly. For me, affirmations were so [...]

Celebrating (Surviving) Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day. It’s hard to know what to write about it because I’m not quite sure how to celebrate it as a loss and a rainbow mom. I never knew how many conflicting feelings and complex emotions one day would elicit. But it does. Conventional wisdom says you’re a mother to be celebrated on Mother’s [...]

By | 2018-05-09T22:09:42+00:00 May 9th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

The Curious Problem of Hoarding When Parenting After Loss

Memories. After a person dies, that’s all you have left. But what sort of memories do you have after your baby died during pregnancy? After Lily died, I spent a good portion of my time affirming her existence in the world. In my world. I created a folder in my email to save all correspondence [...]

By | 2018-04-10T19:23:11+00:00 April 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Invisible Mental Workload of a Mother Pregnant After Loss

Recently articles about “the invisible workload of motherhood” have been circulating around social media. Sure enough, if you ask any mother about this mental load, they know exactly what you’re talking about. The mental lists they keep to manage their kids’ lives and their households. The tasks they juggle and complete without much recognition. This [...]

Dear Mama Afraid to Hope

Dear Mama Afraid to Hope, It can be hard to believe this is real. You may feel like you will never get to the end of this pregnancy. 40 weeks can feel like 40 years in a pregnancy after loss. You may not believe that you will bring a living baby home. Are you feeling [...]

By | 2018-02-05T15:25:37+00:00 February 7th, 2018|Love Letters, PAL Fifth Annual Love Letters|0 Comments

Parenting the one who’s not here

In December I had the chance to read [PALS founder] Lindsey Henke’s piece, Invisible Motherhood. In it she discusses the fear of forgetting the baby you lost, especially when life goes on and new children come into your world. How do you continue parenting the one who’s not here? She writes about her ritual for [...]

By | 2018-01-10T21:14:39+00:00 January 10th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Sibling Bond

Dexter's picture of a rainbow bridge to a sky full of heart stars I've been thinking a lot about siblings during this holiday season. My heart is full every time I watch my three living children engage in all the holiday activities: seeing Santa, Christmas tree decorating, finding Elf on the Shelf, baking [...]

By | 2017-12-14T10:42:45+00:00 December 14th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Looking for Joy at the End of the Rainbow

My last rainbow baby--the happiest baby and truly my joy at the end of this journey. My first child was stillborn in 2010. Lily came early at 20 weeks and 1 day gestation. I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and a uterine abnormality. It seemed that my body was not made for [...]

By | 2017-11-09T18:03:48+00:00 November 9th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Rainbow Clinics are a Thing and They’re Going to Change your Pregnancy After Loss Care

When I was pregnant again after loss, I wanted everyone at my OB’s office to know that I had lost a baby.  I wanted the receptionist to know, the lab technician, the sonographer, the nurses, doctors – anyone with whom I would interact needed to know that I was anxious and scared because of my [...]

By | 2017-10-12T14:01:41+00:00 October 11th, 2017|For Professionals, From Professionals, Pregnancy, TFMR|1 Comment

Pregnancy After Loss Cravings

For most moms, pregnancy is a joyful and blissful time. You always hear about the fun parts of pregnancy like food cravings. Women begging their partners for pickles and ice cream at 3 A.M. or inhaling economy size bags of chips and salsa. When I was pregnant with Lily, I craved oranges, strawberries and Yoplait [...]

By | 2017-09-14T09:14:30+00:00 September 14th, 2017|Pregnancy|0 Comments