Rebecca Markert

About Rebecca Markert

Rebecca Markert lives in Verona, Wisconsin, with her husband, Mike, and their three living children, Dexter, Audrey, and Owen. She gave birth to her first child, Lily, on Mother's Day 2010 after she went into preterm labor at 20 weeks. Rebecca had a septate uterus, which put her at risk for preterm labor and an incompetent cervix, among other things. Lily was a beautiful baby girl with her daddy's nose and her mommy's feet. She was stillborn. She was proof that love at first sight does exist. After another high risk pregnancy, Rebecca welcomed her rainbow, Dexter, in 2011. During her second pregnancy after loss, Rebecca realized how anxious and fearful she still was and sought out other women expecting again after loss. She, along with four other courageous mamas, formed the Rainbow Pregnancies of Madison group, which supports women pregnant after loss. Rebecca is still the facilitator of that group, which meets monthly and has an active, private Facebook page.

Today, I thought I was miscarrying…

Today, I thought I was miscarrying… … because I didn’t feel any morning sickness. … because I felt too sick, and really fatigued. … because I had intermittent back pain. … because I swore the gush of mucus I just felt was blood. … because I spotted. … because I’m “advanced maternal age” and fear [...]

By |2018-09-12T19:56:24+00:00September 12th, 2018|1st Trimester, Pregnancy|0 Comments

The Moment You Find Out There’s Going to Be Another Baby…

You stare down at the pregnancy test. It confirms - as the others you took before it- that you’re pregnant again. All sorts of emotions bubble to the surface. Joy, excitement, overwhelming love – there’s going to be a another baby! There’s relief. You did it. You conceived! But that’s also accompanied by panic, trepidation, and overwhelming fear. Nothing’s [...]

By |2018-08-08T21:03:56+00:00August 8th, 2018|1st Trimester, Pregnancy|1 Comment

Picking a Pediatrician for Your Baby Born After Loss

Photo by Hush Naidoo on Unsplash Almost two weeks ago, after my 2 ½ year old son completed his well-child check-up, his pediatrician sat me down to tell me that she was retiring in September. With that, we’d have to pick a new doctor for my three kids born after loss. My heart sank. It felt [...]

By |2018-07-11T21:39:11+00:00July 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

“In This Moment, Everything is Okay” and other Helpful Pregnancy After Loss Affirmations

When you’re pregnant again after loss (PAL), it’s so easy to get inside your head. You’ve been introduced to the “baby loss world” and you have suddenly become aware of the many ways a baby can die during pregnancy. It’s so easy to go to a bad place very quickly. For me, affirmations were so [...]

Celebrating (Surviving) Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day. It’s hard to know what to write about it because I’m not quite sure how to celebrate it as a loss and a rainbow mom. I never knew how many conflicting feelings and complex emotions one day would elicit. But it does. Conventional wisdom says you’re a mother to be celebrated on Mother’s [...]

By |2018-05-09T22:09:42+00:00May 9th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

The Curious Problem of Hoarding When Parenting After Loss

Memories. After a person dies, that’s all you have left. But what sort of memories do you have after your baby died during pregnancy? After Lily died, I spent a good portion of my time affirming her existence in the world. In my world. I created a folder in my email to save all correspondence [...]

By |2018-04-10T19:23:11+00:00April 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

The Invisible Mental Workload of a Mother Pregnant After Loss

Recently articles about “the invisible workload of motherhood” have been circulating around social media. Sure enough, if you ask any mother about this mental load, they know exactly what you’re talking about. The mental lists they keep to manage their kids’ lives and their households. The tasks they juggle and complete without much recognition. This [...]

Dear Mama Afraid to Hope

Dear Mama Afraid to Hope, It can be hard to believe this is real. You may feel like you will never get to the end of this pregnancy. 40 weeks can feel like 40 years in a pregnancy after loss. You may not believe that you will bring a living baby home. Are you feeling [...]

By |2018-02-05T15:25:37+00:00February 7th, 2018|Love Letters, PAL Fifth Annual Love Letters|0 Comments

Parenting the one who’s not here

In December I had the chance to read [PALS founder] Lindsey Henke’s piece, Invisible Motherhood. In it she discusses the fear of forgetting the baby you lost, especially when life goes on and new children come into your world. How do you continue parenting the one who’s not here? She writes about her ritual for [...]

By |2018-01-10T21:14:39+00:00January 10th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments