Rebecca Christians

About Rebecca Christians

Rebecca Christians is a researcher who lives in Austin, TX with her husband Adam, their rainbow daughter, a few pups and an ever growing flock of backyard chickens. Rebecca and Adam started trying to build a family in January of 2016 and have been learning about how little control they have over these things ever since. After a first trimester miscarriage in April 2016, Rebecca became pregnant with their son Arthur. The pregnancy, labor, and full term delivery were all perfect, but Arthur never opened his eyes or took a breath on his own. Arthur died an hour after birth for unknown reasons on April 1, 2017. Rebecca and Adam welcomed their daughter Eddy in May 2018.

Breastfeeding scared the crap out of me

Sure, I was nervous that it would hurt or that I’d struggle with getting the latch right. I was nervous about producing enough milk. I was nervous about being a human pacifier for months on end. I worried about all of the normal things that moms who hope to breastfeed worry about. But that’s not [...]

By |2019-01-31T15:34:34-04:00January 31st, 2019|Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

The Gifts We Have

In thinking about pregnancy after loss the other day, I referred to it as 9 months of overwhelming emotions - joy, grief, hope, and fear. As I revisited that statement a little while later, I realized that it was based on one very big assumption – a pregnancy would last 9 months. In the world [...]

Advent After Loss

Painting by Kerri Humphreys What do you see when you look at these paintings*? Do you see Mary carrying her son, Jesus? Do you see hope and promise and a light in the darkness? Or do you see fear and uncertainty and the potential for life-altering loss? As someone who has lost a [...]

Therapy is optional: 4 ways to support grievers without pushing therapy

Bandelier National Monument Therapy is great. Therapy can be life-giving and life-saving and a necessary coping mechanism for surviving loss. Short term, long term, sporadic… couples, individual, group… there are a ton of options for folks to find something that helps. I am pro therapy for anyone and everyone who wants it. No [...]

Our Eddy’s Birth Story

Late one Monday night, I found myself anxiously wandering through the grocery store trying to kill some time. I had a mild headache and went to the store to check my blood pressure. The first reading was slightly elevated – 135/85 – so I walked around taking deep breaths and waiting to recheck. The second [...]

By |2018-10-04T20:07:10-04:00October 4th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|3 Comments

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 36: Exhaustion

I’ve spent the entirety of the last two and a half years trying to conceive, pregnant, or immediately post-partum. During that time, I’ve been pregnant three times for nearly 20 months in total. 20 months pregnant – that’s about equal to the gestation period of an elephant. I recognize that I’m lucky in a number [...]

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 35: Normalcy

For the vast majority of the last two years, I can tell you almost exactly what any given Friday looked like for me. After having a cup of coffee and before leaving for work, I mix up a batch of pizza dough. I leave the dough to slowly ferment on the counter while my husband [...]

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 34: Birth Plan

Giving birth is going to be rough. The anticipation of labor and delivery is already difficult. For us, birth is our point of loss. Concern while the baby was crowning, a quick episiotomy, and an unexpectedly silent baby on my chest were the first moments we knew something was wrong. Facing the end of birth [...]

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 33: Nesting

33 weeks. I'm not sure how we got here. It seems like it was just last week that I found out I was pregnant. I was completely overwhelmed and had no idea how we’d survive 9 months of worrying and waiting to see if we’d get to bring this baby home. Apparently for me, the [...]

Rebecca’s Bump Day Blog, Week 32: Fighting an Unknown Enemy

This pregnancy feels like an extended battle with an unknown enemy. My doctors and I have been on high alert since the beginning. With nothing more than a few wild guesses about what we’re fighting, we’ve had to prepare for all possible attacks. In the early months, we were slowly and methodically fortifying our defenses [...]

By |2018-04-16T14:42:36-04:00April 15th, 2018|3rd Trimester, Bump Day Blog, Pregnancy|1 Comment