Kristen Paul

About Kristen Paul

Kristen Paul currently lives in Southern Maryland with her husband Darrell, and their two year-old rainbow, Noah, and their two cats. After discovering that their failure to conceive was due to both female and male factors, Kristen and her husband were elated when they became pregnant in March 2014 on their very first cycle of IVF with ICSI. In June of 2014, they were thrilled to find that they were having a healthy baby boy; after a perfect anatomy scan at 20 weeks, 2 days gestation, they expected to welcome their son in early December. Just 10 days after the anatomy scan, Kristen delivered their son, William Edward Paul, at just 21 weeks, 5 days gestation due to cervical insufficiency. Kristen had a transabdominal cerclage placed in late December of 2014; in March 2015, she underwent a second fresh IVF/ICSI cycle and became pregnant again. After a difficult pregnancy, Kristen delivered their rainbow, Noah, at 35+4 weeks gestation. She and Darrell and now happily raising a toddler and working on making him a big brother. Kristen may be contacted at

Life With Noah: Finding Balance

I recently made the decision to start working outside our home for the first time since Noah was born. While I was fortunate to be able to work from home for several years, the position I held was eliminated last June and I found myself unemployed for the first time since I was a teenager. [...]

By |2019-04-18T21:47:49-04:00April 18th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: Normal-Mama Fear or Loss-Mama Fear, The Continuing Saga

In December 2016, when Noah was 13 months old, I wrote a piece for PALS called “Normal-Mama Fear or Loss-Mama Fear," in which I reflected on my fear of leaving Noah in someone else’s care. At that point, I’d only been away from him for more than a few hours on a handful of occasions, [...]

By |2019-03-21T19:40:26-04:00March 21st, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life with Noah: Moving Past the What-Ifs

It's been another amazing month in the Paul household. Noah continues to thrive in part-time special education preschool and continues to make gains in speech, occupational, and feeding therapy. While he sometimes gets frustrated that he cannot always quickly communicate his wants and needs to us, he is the sweetest, happiest, most good-natured child I have [...]

By |2019-02-14T20:33:05-04:00February 14th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life with Noah: Things People Say

As much as I was shocked by some of the insensitive things people said in the aftermath of William’s death – “These things happen for a reason”, “At least you know that you can get pregnant”, “I know exactly how you feel – I lost my parent/pet” – I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised [...]

By |2019-01-17T19:23:05-04:00January 17th, 2019|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: Moments Like These

We took Noah to see Santa last weekend. We weren't sure how he'd react; for children with autism and sensory processing issues, things with a lot of lights and sound and people - like visits to Santa - can be very overwhelming. Although less than impressed when Santa first entered the barn (he was very [...]

By |2018-12-20T15:47:09-04:00December 20th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: My, How Things Have Changed

This little boy, y'all. He is my world. By the time this post goes live, Noah Matthew - our "rainbow gift from God" - will be 3 years old. As impossible as it seems, the 5 pound, 12.9 ounce, 18.5 inch baby we welcomed at 35+4 weeks (two weeks earlier than we'd planned) in [...]

By |2018-11-15T21:35:24-04:00November 15th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: Celebrating Likely-Last Firsts

Noah started preschool - half a day, twice a week - earlier this month. We didn't take the decision to enroll him in preschool lightly; he's not even three years old, and the idea of him starting school was, quite honestly, a bit terrifying to me. Truthfully, we went back and forth as to whether [...]

By |2018-10-18T19:23:09-04:00October 18th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: The Room at the Top of the Stairs

A little over a month ago, we made the decision to move Noah from the nursery into his "big-boy" bedroom. While we are thrilled with how his new room turned out, and how much he loves it, the process of moving him stirred up so many emotions. I was exactly 21 weeks pregnant with William [...]

By |2018-09-13T20:27:29-04:00September 13th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Raising An “Only Child” Who Isn’t…

"Is he your only child?" Of all of the questions I am asked about my rainbow, Noah, this is one of the most difficult for me to answer. From the standpoint of having a sibling, he is not an only child. He has an older brother, William, who died at birth just over 15 months before [...]

By |2018-08-16T21:08:05-04:00August 16th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

Life With Noah: Similar, But Not The Same

As a loss mother, one of the things I struggle with is how much my two sons – the one I lost moments after birth and the one who walks beside me – look alike. One of the first thoughts that popped into my mind as I gazed upon my newborn rainbow Noah was, “He [...]

By |2018-07-19T20:50:37-04:00July 19th, 2018|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments