Anne Mathay

About Anne Mathay

Anne Mathay is the former Development Director for Pregnancy After Loss Support. She has struggled with infertility for the last five years, along with a miscarriage in 2010 and the stillbirth of her son Henry in 2012. In April 2014, Anne and her husband welcomed their rainbow baby. Since her losses, Anne has become active with many organizations that promote healthy pregnancy, loss and awareness, and children's health. She has found her voice through Knocked Up And Down, a blog that chronicles her struggles, triumphs, and hope surrounding pregnancy and parenting. Anne lives in Delaware with her husband, daughter, and dog. You can also follow her on Twitter.

The Modified Parent

Delaware, the wonderful state where I was lucky enough to be born and raised and where I currently reside, is a funny place. The entire state is the size of some cities. When I was scheduled to meet someone from my mom’s consignment group, it was no surprise to me that we immediately realized we [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:14:00+00:00 August 12th, 2015|Parenting After Loss|1 Comment

Write It Down

You tell yourself you can’t possibly forget. Many women who have lost their babies have not taken the time to write down the birth story. They tell themselves there is no possible way that any details surrounding those days will ever escape them. I know this because I was one of those women who swore [...]

The Beautiful Journey of Grief

“Behind a smile and a genuinely happy moment, there are always moments of grief just below the surface. Grief never ends. It’s a never ending journey. You don’t get to accept or decline your entry to the journey, but you do get to decide how you wish to travel.” These are the very wise words [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:15:48+00:00 June 4th, 2015|Parenting After Loss, The First Year|1 Comment

10 Things I Want You To Know About TTC After A Loss

1. I am not trying to replace the baby I lost. I am trying to conceive a new baby, and have a new pregnancy, with a different outcome. I am not wanting to rewrite history, but instead trying to hope for the present and future while still grieving. 2. I put a lot of pressure [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:15:49+00:00 June 1st, 2015|Reader Favorites, TTC|5 Comments

I am a Courageous Mama: Anne’s Story

Story by Anne Mathay I am a courageous mama because I still wanted a baby after a year of trying to get pregnant with no luck. I am a courageous mama because I still wanted a baby after a missed miscarriage. I am a courageous mama because I found the strength to try again, even [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:16:15+00:00 May 7th, 2015|Courageous Mama|2 Comments

Presence and Absence

  I realized when my alarm went off that I had slept through the night (a not so common event).  Instead of creeping into the nursery and saying hi to my sweet girl, I rolled back over and closed my eyes.  I had the luxury of doing this because the night before, my daughter had [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:16:42+00:00 April 10th, 2015|The First Year|1 Comment

Did I Mention?

It’s the end of an era. Elise, at ten months old, had finally gotten sick. I don’t know why I was so smug that she never really got sick until now.  Looking back, she was just lucky.  I still felt responsible though, like I personally wove a cloak of germ repellent fabric and draped her [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:17:19+00:00 March 5th, 2015|Uncategorized|0 Comments

2015 PAL Playlist

We put out a call for you to share with us a song or two that you've found particularly inspirational during your pregnancy after a loss.  The song that makes you smile a bit.  The song that allows you to think that everything is ok.  The song that encourages you to choose hope over fear [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:17:45+00:00 February 5th, 2015|Uncategorized|3 Comments

I Hear You, Always

I am still hearing the Nationwide commercial from the Super Bowl in my head. There have been lots of things written about the approach, and whether or not it was appropriate, or manipulative, or predatory. It’s haunting, and it’s hard for me to read any of the discussions that have gone on surrounding the controversy. [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:17:45+00:00 February 5th, 2015|The First Year|0 Comments


First, a disclaimer.  This is not a pro-breastfeeding post (although I am pro-breastfeeding).  This is not to say that breastfeeding is the only way to feed your baby, or that if you don’t nurse for whatever reason you’re an inadequate mother. Since I knew Hank had passed away prior to delivery, my journey of pregnancy [...]

By | 2016-10-13T17:18:10+00:00 January 8th, 2015|The First Year|1 Comment