Amanda Ross-White

About Amanda Ross-White

Amanda Ross-White’s first pregnancy ended in the stillbirth of her twins, Nathaniel and Samuel, in 2007. Since then, she has had two miscarriages, and two successful pregnancies, her daughter born safe in 2009 and her son in 2012. She is also the author of Joy at the End of the Rainbow: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Loss.

You Wouldn’t Have Had Me, Would You?

“Mommy….If Nate and Sam were still alive, you wouldn’t have had me, would you?” A heartbreaking question from my little boy. Realistically, would I have had my rainbows if my sons had survived? Probably not. Maybe one of them, but definitely not both of them. I mean, you’d think the experience of having twin, toddler [...]

By | 2018-04-08T17:27:55+00:00 April 8th, 2018|Emotional Health, Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

How long will this feeling of anxiety last?

It should probably come as no surprise that women in pregnancy after loss (PAL) have higher rates of anxiety and depression during their pregnancy than women who’ve never been pregnant before or women who have never had pregnancy loss. There’s been plenty of research that about 20-25% of women in PAL have anxiety, and another [...]

Naming a Rainbow Baby

There are bloggers just dedicated to baby names. Ever since my first pregnancy, I’ve followed a few because I find the subject of naming a child fascinating. And quite a few have written about how naming a second child (or third, or fourth…) is much harder than naming your first. Maybe because your favourite name [...]

By | 2018-02-11T21:09:12+00:00 February 11th, 2018|Parenting After Loss, Pregnancy|0 Comments

This isn’t a real problem

“This isn’t a real problem.” That's what I was told, anyway. That pregnancy after a loss wasn't a problem for women. After all, stillbirth hardly happens any more these days. Besides, even if it does, it is so rare it would never happen again. Your next pregnancy will be fine. Relax! When I was anxious [...]

By | 2018-01-14T16:10:27+00:00 January 7th, 2018|From Professionals, Pregnancy|0 Comments

Christmas Ornaments

Before they were born, which is interesting, because they were born in September, my boys were given Christmas ornaments. Two snowmen medallions, given to me by my aunt, who I always associate with Christmas, because it was her favourite holiday. On the back, after they were born, I had inscribed their names. These are Nate [...]

By | 2017-12-10T20:29:10+00:00 December 10th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments

When you’re Scared of Ultrasounds

The dreaded ultrasound machine I need to have an ultrasound. I’m not pregnant, and it’s for an issue totally not related to my pregnancies, but I’m still uncomfortable. Even though my appointment isn’t until Wednesday, I’m anxious, and having trouble sleeping. I know there’s nothing to be scared of. An ultrasound isn’t painful. [...]

By | 2017-11-05T21:21:56+00:00 November 5th, 2017|Emotional Health, Physical Health|1 Comment

Don’t Sleep on your Back: a report from ISA Cork

Amulets for Nate and Sam The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA) Conference was going to be on September 23-24th. I saw that as a sign. This was going to fall on Nate and Sam’s 10th birthday. I had been to the previous ISA conference, in Vancouver in 2015. It was so well organized and [...]

The way life should be

{This post contains affiliate links at no additional cost to you.} Maine. Vacationland. The way life should be. At least, that’s the slogan from the tourist board. And as I sit in the sand watching my crazy kids run in and out of the waves, their lips blue from the frigid Atlantic, it sure feels [...]

By | 2017-09-11T09:51:15+00:00 September 11th, 2017|Parenting After Loss|0 Comments